Parent is disrespected in daughter, in-law’s house
Dear Miss Manners :Iwas at my daughter’s house. While she and my son-in-law were working in their bathroom, my two grandsons and I were in the den. The boys were on their tablets and I was watching an episode of a reality show, which was almost over. Mind you, I had never seen this show before and I was very much into it.
My daughter and son-in-law come into the den and sit down.
My daughter says to me, “Mom, Buck wants to watch the news!”
I’m like, “What? I am watching this show!”
She says, “Well, Buck wants to watch the news!” My grandson then says, “We always watch the news.”
I’m like, “But this show is almost over!”
They go scurrying about, my son-in-law and grandsons walking past to go outside. My son-in-law says, “You can watch the TV.”
I went into the kitchen, flabbergasted!
My daughter then says to me, “Maybe you should just leave.”
Flabbergasted again, I said, “Yeah, I guess I should.”
Yesterday was over a year since that happened. I have gone over at Christmas time and put presents on the stoop. I have sent birthday cards. Nothing from them. I texted her and said I wanted to put an end to the silence. I have gotten angry with them in the past for disrespecting me, as well, and I brought it up in my text. She stated that they just don’t want to be around me because they don’t know when I’m going to drop a ball. I told her I will drop a ball when I am disrespected. Should I not demand respect from my children? Should I have gotten upset over the TV? I’m over it!
Gentle Reader: Are you?! Miss Manners has her doubts.
Not being familiar with any previous patterns of dropping balls — or bombs — Miss Manners nevertheless feels inclined to believe your daughter. She urges you to check your definition of “disrespect” and distinguish it from “compromise.” Employing the latter will go a long way toward harmony.