Boyfriend’s mother seems cold, aloof

Dr. Wallace: I’m 20 years old and I have a good job at a great business in our local community. I’ve been dating a guy who also works there who is 24 years old.

We’ve been dating now for about five months, and I enjoy hanging out with him both at work and during our free time in the evenings and weekends. He treats me well, puts no pressure on me physically and he constantly has me laughing with his outstanding sense of humor.

But despite all of these great qualities, he still lives at home with his mother, since his parents are divorced and his father lives out of state. My guy often invites me over to their house so that I can spend time having a meal with him and his mother because he tells me that it’s important that she gets to know me better the longer we are dating each other.

I do my best at these dinners to talk to his mother, but she doesn’t say much to me and she comes off kind of aloof and standoffish.

I tell my boyfriend this later at work, but he tells me that his mother actually likes me a lot. I am quite unsure about this.

I have an older sister who’s 25, so I’ve discussed the situation with her in great detail, and she tells me not to worry about it at all. Do you agree this is no big deal, or should I truly be worried about our future because his mother seems to disapprove of me despite my regular visits to her house?

— Not So Sure, via email

Not So Sure: I agree with your sister in this instance. Perhaps you’re making too much about things and it could be that his mother is a bit shy or nonexpressive in her own way.

This does not necessarily mean she disapproves of you at all. Remember you have been invited back to her home multiple times, so I take this as a good sign, and it could be that with future visits she may open up a little bit over time.

Before you attend the next dinner at her house, be sure to ask your boyfriend about what personal interests his mother has. These interests might be hobbies or activities that she enjoys. I recommend that you study up in these areas so that you can ask her about them. A good conversation or two with her about safe topics that she enjoys may go a long way to breaking the ice with this important woman in your life.

Am I Now An Alcoholic?

Dr. Wallace: I’m 16 and a girl who lives in a rural area in the middle of our country. I’ve always been a good student and have never been in any real trouble of any kind.

But last weekend, some friends and I attended a slumber party in the next town about 10 miles away from our city. Late that night, several girls and I snuck out of the house and went into an old barn where somebody had hidden two bottles of wine.

There were five of us who went into the barn, and both of these bottles of wine had already been opened but had a cork loosely hanging in the top of them. One was a red wine and one was a white wine, and the girls were arguing about whether it was dangerous to mix drinking these two different colors of wine.

Anyway, we ended up staying in the barn for two hours and we all ended up drinking both types of wine and finished the two bottles completely! I felt funny and my head got light.

The next day, when I woke up, I had a pretty bad headache. So did some of the other girls. They later said they wanted to do another slumber party in three weeks, but I’m not so sure I want to go anymore. I also am worried that now that I drank and mixed two colors of wine that I might be an alcoholic? Is my life now doomed?

— Rural Teen, via email

Rural Teen: I wouldn’t say that your life is now doomed due to your one very poor decision, but if you continue you are definitely putting yourself at great risk of creating a lot of trouble in your life.

I recommend that you learn your lesson and stay away from alcohol and these types of slumber parties in the future. Mixing the two colors of wine won’t hurt you as much as the overall amount of alcohol that you consumed.

It is very unwise and illegal for underage teenagers to drink alcohol. Consider yourself lucky that you didn’t get into further trouble and that you have no longstanding physical problems at this point. Do not allow yourself to repeat this mistake, especially since you do not want to become an alcoholic.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.