Dad can’t pay for college, higher education plan needs readjusting
Dr. Wallace: My father years ago offered to pay my way through college, and now that I’m on the brink of attending college this fall, he’s telling me that he can only afford to let me continue to live at home and pay for my books. It’s always been my dream to get my college degree and a good job that I’m interested in.
My dad now says things are different because food and other unavoidable costs like fuel and insurance have risen so much since he made that offer to me many years ago. He’s not being mean about this or trying to keep me from going to college, but he’s very serious about going back on his word regarding my tuition. He also told me if he can help me more gradually that he will do so, but not to count on it for sure at this point.
I think this is very unfair, as I have applied to and been accepted by many universities that I already know I now can’t afford. Does this mean I should now just forget about college and seek out the best factory job I can find? I live in a part of the country known as the Rust Belt, so at least factory jobs are available to me as an alternative.
— Beyond Disappointed, via email
Beyond Disappointed: I don’t know what major you plan to study in college and what your preferred career path ultimately is. I wouldn’t discourage you from ever attending college, but I would advise you to adjust your game plan.
Your father has a point about the fact that there are expenses that have risen since he first made his offer to you. He obviously wishes to help you but feels he can’t go beyond what he’s currently offering you. I encourage you to take him up on his offer to continue living at home and to pay for your books. He’s definitely trying to help you, so don’t be angry with him.
You can and should look into any possible scholarships, including partial ones, or financial assistance you might qualify for. Speak to admissions counselors at the schools you have applied to, and be completely honest about your circumstances.
I also suggest immediately looking into community colleges in your area. They are much more cost-effective for the first two years of instruction than a four-year university typically is. You can also take a few classes there and work part time if that’s an option for you. This will allow you to pay for your community college classes and hopefully begin saving money for tuition at a fouryear university two years from this fall or so.
If you truly wish to obtain a college education and degree, I feel you can likely find a path to do so, especially if you are willing to make adjustments to your timeline and choice of colleges to start at. Reaching your ultimate goal is much more important than getting off to a perfect start.
Dr. Wallace: Our family agreed to get two pets this summer. We have three kids in our family, but our parents said we can only have two pets at most.
We are of course thinking of the two main pets first, so this means dogs and cats. One of us wants to consider a hamster, but the other two of us voted that down. We decided that to get any certain type of pet, we would have to have a two-out-of-three vote. So far, both cats and dogs got enough votes. My brother also voted for a snake, but my sister and I blocked that one pretty quickly.
We can’t afford a pony, which was our dream, so now we need to decide upon two cats, two dogs or one of each. Which do you feel is best for us and why?
— Ready for Pets, via email
Ready for Pets: It will likely be easier to care for two similar pets, either two dogs or two cats. Feeding, exercise and cleaning can more easily be coordinated.
Two similar animals also tend to bond and keep each other company, especially if there are large blocks of time the pets are going to be alone while the family is away at work and school, for example. Cats tend to be more independent, whereas dogs need more daily care. Plan in advance who will be responsible for the feeding, care and exercise of your new pets. You might even want to set up a schedule in advance so each of you can know your weekly responsibilities.
If you decide to try one dog and one cat, be ready to give each one its own space, toys and attention. To best have them acclimate to each other, you might consider getting each animal at a very young age. A kitten and a puppy likely have a better chance to bond with each other amiably than an older cat and an older dog who are put into the same living quarters.