Husband worried about having open marriage

Iam 52, and happily married, but my wife has lost almost all interest in intimacy.

She is 51, healthy, and in great shape, but says that she just doesn’t have the drive anymore. This has been building for several years.

There are reasons on both sides, but it mainly seems to be just the passage of time. We have had many conversations and a few therapy sessions, but nothing changes.

I have tried romantic gestures and flirting, but get little response.

She finally has said that she gives me permission to explore intimacy elsewhere. She has even suggested possibilities within our social circle.

I always wanted to be a faithful, loving spouse, but the thought of going the rest of my life without an active physical relationship is hard to accept.

My first choice by far would be to rekindle the connection with her, but that has not worked. I do not want to leave her, as I love her and we otherwise have a good relationship and good family life.

Should I accept the permission slip and see what is out there?

— Frustrated Spouse DEAR FRUSTRATED >> You don’t mention your wife visiting her physician. Low libido can have a physical cause; it would be wise for her to explore medical/hormonal options.

If you and your wife can work out a way for you both to stay married — and actually be married — while you seek physical intimacy elsewhere, then you could try it, but my instinct is that your emotional marital connection would be frayed, possibly to the breaking point.

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