Sister concerned over brother’s social media choices DEAR AMY >>

DEAR AMY >> I’m a 14-year-old sister. My brother, who is 10, is in the fifth grade.

Recently, my brother received a Kindle as a present. I got one at around the same age.

Even at his age, some of his classmates have phones. When I was his age I was desperate to communicate with my friends, but now that I’m older, I understand and respect my parents’ choice not to give me a phone until high school.

At one point, I downloaded the messaging app Kik, but my mom made me delete it. The app allows you to communicate with friends, but also complete strangers.

Now, my brother has the app. He has told me, but not our parents.

I snooped and saw that he’s only talking to two friends and it’s pretty innocent, but I still worry.

If I tell my mom, she will make him delete it, but I want him to trust me. I’m conflicted on what to do. Should I just pretend I don’t know, or tell my mom? — Worried Sister

DEAR SISTER >> You should tell your brother to delete the app, and explain to him why. Don’t come down on him like a ton of bricks; explain to him that when you were his age, you made the exact same choice, but it isn’t a good one because this is an app where strangers can contact you. He is vulnerable. You are an important part of his media awareness, so stay open and available to him.

You should ask your mother to sweep his device for apps, the way she did with yours. Commonsensemedia.org has a list of recommended apps for kids.

“Lonely Lady” described being divorced, but also missing her ex-husband. Amy, this is exactly the way I felt when I first got divorced. No one wants to hear that you can miss someone who was unkind to you. I appreciated this acknowledgment. — Recovered

DEAR RECOVERED >> I went through this, too. Divorce marks the end of a state of being. It is normal to grieve and to miss your spouse.

Amy Dickinson