When you stay with friends, pack some ‘rules’

DEAR AMY >>

I live in Hawaii. We have lots of family and friends who stay at our home. Could you briefly describe the “do’s and don’ts” while staying as a guest in someone’s home?

Some of our guests keep their bedrooms tidy, help clean up after meals and/or offer a dinner outing.

On the other hand, we’ve had one or two who have broken items and failed to notify us of the damage, who have left the bedroom and bathroom filthy and who seem to expect us to do everything for them, unless I put my foot down.

Vacation season begins now. I believe both hosts and visitors would greatly benefit from your advice. I’m going to frame your suggestions in the guest bedroom. — Hosts with the Most

DEAR HOSTS>>

I don’t know if this is worthy of framing, but here’s my response:

Good guests bring a small token with them to present to their hosts on arrival.

Good guests keep their own area clean and tidy, and offer to help with meal preparation and cleanup.

Good guests are independent and respectful of their hosts’ work schedule, are enthusiastic and appreciative of their surroundings and cook or treat their hosts to at least one meal during their stay.

Good guests ask their hosts if they should strip or make the bed on the morning of their departure.

Guests who want to be invited back thank their hosts, in writing, after their stay.

DEAR AMY >>

“Forgotten on the Fourth Floor” was a hospital worker who was in for surgery. None of her co-workers visited her during her confinement.

I was also shocked when I had major surgery recently and none of my co-workers even inquired about me. Other people surprised me with their kindness and generosity. — Recovered DEAR RECOVERED >>

Illness tends to bring out people’s elemental qualities — for better or worse.