Daughter tries to donate sex toy

DEAR AMY » My 21-year-old stepdaughter lives with her mother. They are both fairly sloppy and tend toward hoarding. We regularly donate unwanted items to charity so we allow my stepdaughter to bring items for donation to our house.

She recently brought some things over in small grocery bags. I was sorting donation items — some go to a free cycle store, some to a clothing store, etc.

I found a vibrator in one of the bags. Amy, please say something to make me feel better. I can’t donate this because that just isn’t sanitary. Also it’s creepy — and that’s the real reason I write. Why would she put this in our donation? Does she truly not understand that you can’t donate sex toys? Does she truly not understand that is TMI for parents? Why would she even involve us? Do I put it in a bag in her room, or do I toss it without saying anything?

I have not mentioned this to my husband. What should I do? — Gobsmacked

DEAR GOBSMACKED » So many questions. So very many questions.

I have a few of my own, naturally. But I think you should table your questions, and leave the item in a bag in your stepdaughter’s room and simply say to her, “I don’t know of an organization that will accept this as a donation.”

It’s possible that it landed in the donation pile by mistake, or as someone’s idea of a (bad) joke, but I don’t think it merits much attention or comment.

DEAR AMY » “Wondering” asked what she should call her former in-laws, who she had remained close to.

Although I’ve been divorced for more than 18 years, I’m still very close with my ex’s family. I refer to my former mother-in-law as my “Mother UN-law.” It works for us! — Marcia DEAR MARCIA » I like it.