Bride-to-be wants brothers in party

DEAR AMY » I have been with my boyfriend for five years now, and we have recently been discussing getting married. We’re talking about the wedding and all that good stuff.

He has a very large and great group of friends, and many of them would be groomsmen.

My question is, I have three brothers who I am very close to. They have taken a little longer to be close with my boyfriend.

What is the appropriate decision on making my brothers a part of his bridal party as groomsmen? — Curious DEAR CURIOUS » There is no one answer to the sometimes delicate question of who should be in the wedding party.

Asking all three brothers to be groomsmen would be one way to build a closer relationship to your guy, but you should not pressure him to do this.

Remember, too, that it is not necessary for the bride and groom to have the exact same number of attendants. However, if you’re open to this sort of thing, you may ask your brothers to stand with you — as your attendants.

Aside from being official groomsmen during the wedding, your brothers could also serve as ushers for all of your guests, relieving groomsmen of this duty.

DEAR AMY » “Still Shocked” was appalled that a newcomer to their town showed up at their snooty club dressed in a negligee. I couldn’t believe you agreed with her! You should have told her to be open to this person, no matter how she was dressed! — Appalled

DEAR APPALLED » I have traveled a lot and lived in many places. It is respectful to at least attempt to conform to the standards of wherever you are.

Given the modesty of the community this woman was trying to enter, she should expect some pushback when she refuses their standard.

Amy Dickinson