After tossing the relationship, get rid of stuff

I have been dating my (probably ex) girlfriend for more than 11 years.

After she had a run of financial problems, I helped by storing a lot of her furniture and personal property at my house. I helped a little bit with her bills, helped her move, took in a couple of her cats — and many other things — because I was her boyfriend and believed I was being a good person to help her.

I’ve done these things, even though when I need help, emotional support, or some form of thank you, I never receive anything. For instance, I got a two-word text message for my birthday.

Now she is starting to ghost me after I asked for some of my money back.

How long should I hold on to her things before I call a thrift store and have it hauled off? — Taken for Granted

DEAR TAKEN » You should make a good-faith effort to contact this woman to tell her that you intend to get rid of the possessions she has left in your home. Document your attempts by printing out texts and emails, and keep copies. Give her a specific deadline to pick up these items (two weeks seems reasonable). Tell her that if she doesn’t pick them up, you’ll be donating her furniture. You should not donate any of her small personal items (letters, documents, photos, etc.). These things should be put in a bin and left at her house at a prearranged time.

I have heard of people renting storage units for others, and turning over the key and responsibility for paying the rent, etc. on the unit, but this seems like a further complication and involvement that you don’t need. Additionally, the person leasing the unit is ultimately responsible for the fees, regardless of who holds the key.

If you gave this woman money because she was your girlfriend, you will not get it back. If you loaned it to her and have a loan agreement in writing, you may have to take her to court.

You deserve better, and I hope your next relationship is more positive and balanced.

Amy Dickinson