Woman wonders if she is being stalked

DEAR AMY » I’m 62, and have been single for the past 27 years, with occasional relationships. I’m quite independent and if the relationship was no longer working (for whatever reason), either he or I ended it with not much fanfare involved.

This spring, I met a man who lives only a few blocks away from me.

At first it was working quite well. Then he started getting angry with me for absolutely no reason. He started demonstrating terrible jealousy. I would leave the relationship, he would apologize, I would forgive him, and then it would happen all over again.

I learned that his ex-wife of 35 years will not engage him in conversation, and his children and grandchildren barely spend time with him. He told me that his ex-wife accused him of stalking her after the divorce.

I finally had to break it off, with no hope of reconciling. I have since stopped all communication, although he continued to text me, begging me to give him another chance.

Yesterday my sisters and I noticed him walking up my driveway. He placed an envelope on my car windshield. Once he was gone I opened it and he was returning a clip I had left at this house, along with a note that stated, “I miss you and if you gave us (me) another chance I know things would be different.”

Is this stalking? Am I in danger? Should I start restraining order proceedings? Should I reach out to his ex-wife and see if he’ll eventually get over it?

— Grandma with a Stalker

You are not being stalked — so far. Currently, you have a case of a neighbor walking up your driveway and leaving a note on your car.

However, given this man’s history — both his reported history and his behavior toward you — I agree that you should be wary.

If you genuinely think it would be helpful, you could contact his ex, who might provide some insight.

Install a “No Trespassing” sign in a visible spot at the end of your driveway. If this man comes on to your property again and it makes you uncomfortable, you could send him a letter via priority mail: “I have posted a ‘No Trespassing’ sign at the edge of my property. Please do not come on to my property or contact me again.”

If you see him on your property and/or if he contacts you after this, you should look into legal remedies.