A springtime fling leads to lukewarm feet

DEAR AMY » I met a guy this spring, and we basically spent every day together during the summer.

One night he texted me to say “good night,” and added that he loves me.

Although I felt the same way, I was completely shocked that he felt this way. A couple of weeks later, we spent a week on vacation with our two children (both age 5). After we got home, he asked me to meet him to talk.

He said he thought we were moving too fast and that he didn’t want to see me anymore.

I respected his wishes and didn’t call or text him, but after two days he texted me and asked me to go to the movies.

After the movie, he told me that he thinks we just need to take things slowly.

We are still together and continue to talk, hang out and do things together, but I am so confused. Sometimes it feels like we are in this weird place in our relationship.

I really care about him, and we are back in a good place, but I have no clue what could have caused his random stepping away from me. What should I do now? — Semi-Attached

DEAR SEMI-ATTACHED

» This stepping away doesn’t seem particularly random to me. I detect a case of regret-texting, and possibly cold feet - or rather, lukewarm feet.

You and your guy are both parents of young children. During your vacation week, he may have observed the impact of this relationship on his child, and decided to slow down.

He might not agree with your parenting style, or may have come to believe that you two have different values. He might be concerned about the dynamic between the two children. Or his child (or his ex) might have made a statement that scared him into backing away.

But when there are children involved, slow is the best way to engage in a relationship that may ultimately have a life-altering impact on everyone.

What you should do now is to ask him to be extremely frank with you regarding the reasons behind the temperature change, and make your own decision about continuing the relationship.

Amy Dickinson