Architect engages in poorly designed deception

DEAR AMY » Iama 30-year-old man. I used to live in New York City, where I worked as an architect.

I met a 22-yearold girl on Tinder two weeks ago in New York.

The first date went well, and we agreed to meet again after I returned from my two-week vacation in Sydney, Australia.

The thing I could not tell her was that I would not be taking a two-week vacation. I had to leave the U.S. because of my visa status, and now I have to live in Sydney until I get this matter resolved. I would like to return to the U.S. after resolving this visa situation and see her.

Do you have any suggestions about my situation? — Aussie

DEAR AUSSIE » My suggestion is pretty simple: Don’t lie. What you’ve chosen to lie about is a fairly pedestrian legal issue that most people have the capacity to understand.

I’m not sure why you are acting like George Costanza, caught in an Art Vandelay deception, but if this young Tinder date has a brain in her head, she will quickly discern that you are not actually on a two-week vacation in Sydney. She will figure this out either because you tell her, or she will notice that you haven’t returned, tanned and rested from your holiday.

You could paper over your lie by telling her now that once you re-entered your home country, you realized that your visa status was in trouble and that you will be in Australia for an indefinite period.

Tinder makes it very easy to quickly connect with people. This seems to accelerate the whole dating dynamic in all sorts of ways. Not only are people closing the deal much faster, but an ancillary result of this speed-matching is that people are also less interested in putting up with shenanigans. Because Tinder users know that there are always other people out there to meet.

Tinder makes it very easy to quickly connect with people.