Grandmother ponders ‘girls only’ vacation

Every year I take my daughter and two granddaughters on a vacation to the beach for five days. This has always been just a girl thing.

Now my daughter has a livein boyfriend. She wants to take him with us. We would all be in one minisuite, sharing one bathroom. That is only part of the problem. He talks and talks constantly. It is a five-hour trip, and we all share one room! I don’t think I can do it with him along, but if I tell her I am not going if he goes, she will be upset. Should I go,

or should I tell her that this vacation is only for the four of us?

— Upset Grandmother

DEAR UPSET » If this man is your daughter’s live-in partner, then you are going to have to adjust to considering him to be a member of the family. You didn’t choose him, and it sounds like you would never choose him, and yet there he is.

It is completely reasonable for you to ask your daughter, “Do you mind if we keep this vacation as our ‘girls only’ getaway?” Do not get drawn into a recitation of this man’s many faults. You could also offer to take the kids by yourself, and although this would change things for you, they might enjoy it very much.

If your daughter insists that he must come along on this trip, she should rent a nearby room for the couple to stay in, and perhaps you and your granddaughters can bunk in together. If you can’t bear the thought of hosting this, then admit that the “girls only” era has ended.

DEAR AMY » I take issue with this response to “PetFriendly Guy.” You stated that, “while my pets are lovely, they can’t call me on my birthday, pick me up if I get a flat tire or invite me over for a nice dinner after a tough day.”

I’d take a cuddle from my animal over the coldness of a rude relative any day. — Also Unashamed

DEAR ALSO » Point taken!

I’d take a cuddle from my animal over the coldness of a rude relative any day.

Amy Dickinson