Moocher neighbors need solid boundaries

DEAR AMY » My sister and her husband recently decided to purchase the home next door to my husband and me.

My husband was not happy about this. He thinks they are “cheap,” and “moochers.” (They do have that reputation in the family.)

He feels they should’ve asked us before making the offer on the house next to us.

My husband told me that he is not going to start “letting them mooch” just because they are our neighbors now, and that he wants to remain firm.

Within a day of them moving into their new house, they asked us for our Wi-Fi password. My husband told them no. A few days later, they asked for a whole list of household items. My husband said no to all of it.

My sister came to me, saying that they were hurt and confused by my husband saying no. I caved and gave her everything she asked for.

My husband was furious and said that I enable this sort of behavior. Yes, they can be demanding, but I love my sister, and if I can help her, I feel like we

should. Am I wrong here? — Big Sister

DEAR KEEPER » Yes, I’d say you are wrong to share your Wi-Fi password with your sister-neighbor. The neighbors’ internet use could compromise the speed in your own home. They could decide to share the password with others. And if/when your internet goes down, they will come knocking on your door to reset your router.

If you have used this same password for any other accounts, you should reset, and make sure it is only dedicated to the Wi-Fi.

The main issue here is not with your sister’s predictable behavior, but with your marriage. On the one hand, your husband seems to have laid down the law without discussing it with you. On the other, you have chosen to completely disregard his decision without telling him.

I’m all for family members (and neighbors) helping each other, but your sister just moved in next door, and already your marriage has been affected. This is mooching to the extreme, because these neighbors seem to have taken your spousal trust in one another. I hope you get it back.