The Morning Journal (Lorain, OH)
‘STAR WARS,’ WORST TO FIRST
With 10 movies, a ranking is a galactic mandate
When “Solo: A Star Wars Story” stole its way into theaters May 25, it became the 10th live-action “Star Wars” adventure to hit the big screen. ¶ (Cue impressive growl by Chewbacca.) ¶ What does that mean? Well, that we’re practically obligated to rank the movies now. ¶ Thus, this is how one simple man trying to make his way in the universe — a “Star Wars” fan whose early childhood years in the late 1970s and early ’80s were dominated by a love of the Millennium Falcon, Han Solo and Luke Skywalker, as well as by an intense fear of Darth Vader — feels about them, going from worst to first.
Note: I’ve used the prequel trilogy’s naming convention for all the episodic, or “saga,” films.
I’ve also named a most-valuable player for each affair.
10: ‘Star Wars: Episode I — The Phantom Menace’
Oh, the wait for the arrival of May 19, 1999 — the announced release date of the first of “Star Wars” architect George Lucas’ planned “prequel” movies, which would tell us how the heroic Anakin Skywalker (um, spoiler alert?) fell to the Dark Side of the Force and became Darth Vader — was long and painful. Undoubtedly, this movie was going to be amazing. And then at last, during a midnight showing, I saw the familiar words “A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away” appear again against a dark background. “Star Wars,” officially, was back! Well … what a mess. Crash. Burn. Smolder for a while. The movie has one terrific sequence, the epic lightsaber clash between Jedi Qui-gon Jinn (Liam Neeson) and Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor) and Sith Lord Darth Maul (Ray Park), holding what is still the coolest weapon in the galaxy, a double-bladed lightsaber. Too bad the sequence is intercut with the uninspired battle of Naboo. This movie gets almost nothing right, down to the casting of poor Jake Lloyd as the very young Anakin. (“Yippee !!!! ” Ugh.) MVP: Qui-gon Jinn. Neeson brought some gravitas to the movie’s veteran Jedi knight, but, at the risk of sounding like Master Yoda, save this film he could not.
9. ‘Star Wars: Episode III — Revenge of the Sith’
People have tried to talk me into this being the best of the prequels, but it doesn’t move me. The climactic sequence between McGregor’s Obi-Wan and Anakin (now portrayed by the much-lambasted Hayden Christensen) is … OK, I guess. It should be incredible. Say this for “Sith”: It is appropriately dark — oh, those poor Jedi younglings! — and I wasn’t sure this aging Lucas had it in him at that point.
MVP: Darth Sidious, aka The Emperor.
From his first moments as Chancellor Palpatine to his hooded appearances as the mysterious Darth Sidious to his dark rebirth as the galactic emperor, Ian McDiarmid is one of the better performers in this prequel trilogy, and he has some nice scenes here.
8: ‘Star Wars: Episode II — Attack of the Clones’
Some fans will tell you this is worse than “Sith,” maybe even than “Phantom Menace,” but not I. There are enough sequences I rather enjoy, starting with Obiwan (McGregor) and Anakin (Christensen) taking to the overdeveloped streets of Coruscant to chase a bounty hunter who has tried to assassinate Senator Padmé Amidala (Natalie Portman). Even better is Obi’s midmovie clash with Jango Fett (Temuera Morrison), who is with his young clone son, Boba (awwww). I really don’t even mind the much-bashed romantic scenes between Anakin and Padmé. However, it should be noted that Lucas’ direction really did not mesh with the normally talented Portman. She is never good in these movies.
MVP: Obi-Wan Kenobi. Sort of a background player in “Phantom Menace,” McGregor steps into the spotlight as the younger version of the character the late Alec Guinness made famous decades earlier. The prospect of seeing McGregor reprise the role is the reason I’d love to see a long-rumored Kenobi stand-alone movie get off the ground.
7. ‘Star Wars: Episode VIII — The Last Jedi’
Last year’s highly anticipated second sequel-trilogy affair is probably the most polarizing of the films. Understandably, some loved writer-director Rian Johnson’s burn-it-down approach. For me and others, though, this movie just doesn’t fit with the chapter that came before it. (If Rey’s parents were nobodies from Jakku, why had we seen her as a young girl watching a ship leave the planet? Oh well.) Even after a few viewings, I don’t understand some of the story choices. It doesn’t feel as though Johnson was doing any favors for the director of “Episode IX,” which is now set to be J.J. Abrams. That said, some sections are slick, such as the lightsaber battle in Supreme Leader Snoke’s throne room and the showdown between Kylo Ren (Adam Driver) and Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill). MVP: Luke Skywalker. Hamill waited four decades to give his greatest performance as the iconic Jedi. He is simply terrific, even if his character’s arc is not.
6. ‘Rogue One: A Star Wars Story’
This film could have been a pile of space garbage. The first of Disney’s stand-alone “Star Wars” films, this one set right before the events of 1977’s “A New Hope” was plagued by rumors of rewrites, reshoots and re-edits. While it feels as though the powers-that-be ultimately figured it out in the editing room, the tale of how the Rebel Alliance stole the plans for the Death Star is largely entertaining. Its greatest problem is that none of the characters it introduces have proved to be all that memorable. However, this film shows that a little Darth Vader goes a long way, and its closing moments are fantastic. MVP: Jyn Erso. While an honorable mention goes to the movie’s comic relief, reprogrammed droid K-2SO (Alan Tudyk in a motion-capture performance), Felicity Jones’ heroine is an appealing-enough central figure.
5: ‘Solo: A Star Wars Story’
While Disney’s second stand-alone adventure didn’t crush it at the worldwide box office on its opening weekend, the (mostly) Ron Howard-directed origin story for Han Solo (Alden Ehrenreich) is an entertaining heist flick — complete with a highly surprising resurfacing of an old “Star Wars” character late in the proceedings. “Star Wars” fatigue may be setting in — this movie dropped only a few months after “The Last Jedi” — but it’s worth seeing. MPV: Han Solo. Duh, right? Well, hold on. Donald Glover is terrific as young Lando Calrissian, but how do you not go with the galaxy’s favorite scoundrel? Ehrenreich steps into the intimidating shoes previously worn by Harrison Ford and gives a really admirable performance.
4. ‘Star Wars: Episode VI — Return of the Jedi’
We’re finally to a classic. (Remember when we thought this would be the last “Star Wars” movie we would ever see?) While not up to its predecessors, director Richard Marquand’s trilogy-closing 1983 film still delivers with the Battle of Endor and the final showdown between Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill) and Darth Vader (voiced by James Earl Jones). Sure, there’s a bit too much of the cuddly little Ewoks, but what are you gonna do? MVP: Chewbacca. OK, this is sort of a lifetime-achievement award — the wookie has now appeared in seven films and is as synonymous with the franchise as Darth Vader. First played by Peter Mayhew and now Joonas Suotamo, the wookie should be in the neighborhood of 240 years old during the events of “The Last Jedi.” And I agree with Han in “Solo”: He looks great.
3: ‘Star Wars: Episode VII — The Force Awakens’
While not all it might have been, Disney’s first “Star Wars” movie delivers the blend of exciting sequences and emotional moments fans love. Sure, director J.J. Abrams made a movie VERY similar to George Lucas’ 1977 original, but I guess when you know what works, you stick with it. While Harrison Ford does some heavy lifting as an older Han Solo, it’s new heroes Rey (Daisy Ridley), Finn (John Boyega) and Poe Dameron (Oscar Isaac) who largely power this first entry in the sequel trilogy. MVP: Rey. Yes, you can argue she’s a Mary Sue or little more than a female version of young Luke Skywalker, but Ridley’s so terrific in the film, it matters not.
2. ‘Star Wars: Episode IV — A New Hope’
The movie that started it all. Yes, its then-groundbreaking special effects now look quite dated, but writer-director George Lucas created an all-timegreat movie-going experience. It’s so easy to believe the tales of people walking out of the theater, having just seen it for the first time, and getting right back in line for the next showing. This one movie introduced us to the Force, the Jedi, Darth Vader, the Millennium Falcon, Han, Luke, Leia and so much more — concepts and characters important four decades later. MVP: Leia Organa. Rest in peace, Carrie Fisher. Her first turn as Harrison Ford, as Han Solo, Carrie Fisher, as Princess Leia Organa, and Mark Hamill, as Luke Skywalker. appear in a scene from the 1977’s “Star Wars: Episode IV — A New Hope.” Leia set the stage for what eventually would turn into a memorable romance. She gives the cocky pilot all the attitude he can handle. She’s a real pistol, er, blaster here.
1. ‘Star Wars: Episode V — The Empire Strikes Back’
Talk about a sequel that delivered. OK, when I pop in the Blu-ray of Irvin Kershner’s incredibly well-directed work, I often skip some of the scenes on Dagobah, but the material with Han and Leia on the Falcon is fantastic. And when I watch Luke face Vader for the first time on Cloud City, I can still feel a tiny bit of the terror I had for our hero when I was a young boy. Oh, and that knowledge bomb Vader drops on Luke? I don’t know that a subsequent big-screen revelation has matched it. The Force will always be the strongest with this one.
MVP: Darth Vader. The greatest movie villain of all time is at his baddest here. The line reads by James Earl Jones are just so good — save for the ones done years later that Lucas inserted in various editions of the film for reasons that remain unclear — that they give you chills.
We’ve got a long wait until the ninth episode of “Star Wars,” slated to hit theaters on Dec. 20, 2019. May the Force be with us until then.
This is the first installment of Movie Thoughts, a semi-regular series related to a movie in theaters or big-screen trends.
The Force will always be strongest with “The Empire Strikes Back.”