The Morning Journal (Lorain, OH)
Psycho magnet not good partner material
DEAR AMY » I’m 32 and have three children from a previous relationship.
I’ve been with my boyfriend for five years. We live together.
We have had trust issues in the past, and I thought we had worked through them. Mostly this involved him exchanging flirty messages with another woman.
Well, last summer he had an affair with my neighbor (who I thought was a friend of mine!). I found out after they had been sneaking around for two months.
He begged, and said he loved me, and that it would never happen again.
I believed him, but — guess what? He was still talking to her and they were together at least another four times.
This neighbor is a psycho. She calls his mother and creates different email addresses to contact him, as well as phony Facebook accounts. She won’t give up!
Recently, I found out that he went to her place to tell her to leave him alone and to stop contacting his mother. She says they slept together. Of course, I don’t believe his denials because he has lied so many times
in the past.
Part of me really loves him, Amy. I don’t want to throw away five years if we can work on it. But I also don’t know if I can ever trust him. Your advice? — Worried
DEAR WORRIED » You have three children. My advice is that you should put them in the center of your life, but not in the center of this drama.
How does all of this nonsense impact them? What is it like for them when their mom is upset, angry and hooked into a relationship with a lying, cheating psycho magnet?
Do you want to demonstrate to your kids that being with an unfaithful, destructive and disrespectful partner is better than being alone and independent? Because that’s what you’re doing now.
If you want for your kids to engage in healthy relationships, then you are going to have to show them the way. I hope you can find ways to boost your own self-esteem, so that you could see that you are worthy and that you deserve the very best in love, and life.
Kicking this guy to the curb might be a good first step.