Adult’s student debt has dad working overtime

DEAR AMY >> Iam in my late 20s. I live with my parents. They paid for my college education and they are currently paying off the corresponding loans.

My father is not in the best shape, but he is working a lot of overtime in an attempt to get everything paid off before retiring.

They have not asked for any help with these bills, but I would like to offer without offending anyone.

There are two loans in my name, and I’d like to offer to take over one of them.

This would give me the ability to continue saving for a place of my own, yet relieve them of some of the burden.

I am looking for the best way to approach this, any ideas?

— Overburdened

DEAR OVERBURDENED >> If you have two loans in your name, you should be paying off not one but both of these loans. Your parents have done enough. You are in your late-20s. Congratulations, you are an adult! Grow up, already!

You are the person who should be working overtime to make these loan payments, not your father. You are a college graduate (thanks to your folks). You are (presumably) ablebodied. Postpone your plans to move out and double up on your own work to retire this debt.

You should ask your parents to have a family meeting. Thank them from the bottom of your heart for all they’ve done for you. Tell them you have figured out how to pay off your loans; ask them for the paperwork and then make the payments.

If they refuse to let you contribute, then you should take the money you make from your own overtime, sock it into an account, and present them with the balance when you move out and/or they retire.

DEAR AMY >> I work in the film industry. As a woman, it has been a long and painful road, but things have improved lately, due to the current focus on hiring women in Hollywood.

As a result, the stressful but low-stakes work I had done previously has ratcheted up, and I am doing higher-caliber projects, have joined a guild and find myself in new environments with higher-ranked people.

There was a moment of elation for working on projects I truly believed in, for being in the guild with others I admire and for accomplishing my goals. But now I am miserable.

The higher ranks in this business seem just like laboring in the slums of Hollywood — there’s just more ego and way more pressure, although not necessarily more money.

I have been fantasizing about running away to do something that matters, but my husband moved to LA so that I could pursue this, and he believes in me wholeheartedly.

I’m under a lot of pressure, but making progress on achieving my dreams might have revealed that this industry is not for me.

I have a number of projects to finish, and if I succeed at them, I would be pushed into even higher Hollywood strata — likely with amazing money and WAY more pressure.

Part of me thinks that I should stick it out for another year and see where I am then, and part of me wants to sell my house and go screaming into the woods. What do you think?

Dreams Aren’t Always What They Seem

DEAR DREAMS >> I think you should stick with it for another year — AND go screaming into the woods whenever possible.

Keep in mind that as more women and people of color are finally joining the ranks at all levels of the film business, the overall atmosphere in this very challenging industry might also start to change. You could also take your skill set and qualifications into an ancillary business that wouldn’t require you and your husband to move. But the storytelling industry does create much meaningful content that matters. You just need to find the right people and projects to work on.

You are overburdened and burned out right now. Find some non-industry-related things to do for fun (granted, a challenge in an industry town), stretch creatively outside of work and definitely spend as much time as possible in nature. There is no better way to clear your head.

DEAR AMY >> In your sensitive answer to “Upset Citizen” you remarked that people sometimes ask foreign-born Americans, “WHAT are you?”

One way to respond is by answering this question with a question: “Well, what are you?”

— Been There DEAR BEEN THERE >> It’s certainly worth a try.