The Morning Journal (Lorain, OH)
‘Draft Day’ so ridiculous, so wonderful
Sports movies come and go. Some are remembered forever. Others are forgotten.
Sports movies come and go. Some are remembered forever. Others are forgotten.
Then there is “Draft Day,” a 2014 film starring Kevin Costner as fictional Browns general manager Sonny Weaver Jr., who’s attempting to turn around the team’s fortunes on the eve of the draft.
In Cleveland, it’s debatable if it will be remembered forever. It probably won’t be forgotten. It safe to say it won’t ever reach “Major League” status.
When that film was released in 1989, it made Indians fans everywhere believe the team could become a winner — at least on film. In “Draft Day,” the believe-ability factor of the events played out are so outlandish, so ridiculous, it’s laughable but also a lot of fun.
Unintentional comedy or not, more than five years later, it’s a wonderful re-watch. Believeland baby.
Browns fans, admit it. If “Draft Day” is on and you’re channel surfing, you’re watching, and you know it. Yes, it was a box-office flop. It made a reported $29 million on a $25 million budget. Most critics panned it.
“Draft Day is one of the dumbest movies about sports ever made because it’s one of the dumbest ideas for a movie about sports that anyone has ever had, a fictional film about pro football that isn’t even actually about football,” wrote Slate in its review in 2014.
That’s debatable. There’s not a down of football played in the film.
But the draft is a huge deal for the NFL, and there’s always drama on draft day.
So while many of us are secluded in our homes because of the novel coronavirus outbreak, let’s take a dive back into the wonderful world of the Weaver-led Browns. There’s a lot to discuss. Here we go (with spoilers):
What’s aged well
• Browns owner Anthony Molina meddling with Weaver on the eve of the draft by saying he wants to “make a splash.” Meddling owners in sports films are fun.
• But not as fun as draft-day trades. More on that in a bit.
• The setting of that scene between Weaver and Molina taking place at what looks like a splash park owned by Molina. “I need you to make a splash Sonny,” says Molina. Foreshadowing at its best — or it’s cheesiest.
• Actor Chadwick Boseman — now best known as the Marvel character Black Panther — as top prospect Vontez Mack of Ohio State. What Browns fan wouldn’t love Black Panther on the Browns?
• Tom Welling as Browns quarterback Brian Drew. He looked the part.
• Sean “P Diddy” Combs as an NFL agent. Solid job.
• The wonderful Frank Langella as Molina. The dark sunglasses are a great touch.
• Case Western Reserve’s football stadium, DiSanto Field, which is a great Divison III facility. In the film, it’s the setting in which Sam Elliott (as Wisconsin’s Coach Moore) takes a call from Weaver about top QB prospect Bo Callahan, who’s seemingly the player the Browns will draft No. 1 overall.
• The Browns practice facility in Berea. All the shots in the film are legit, and all add legitimacy to the movie.
• Shot of FirstEnergy Stadium and Browns players — led by Drew — running onto the field at the film’s end. Well done.
• Nervous “Rick The Intern,” who’s the whipping boy for Weaver’s ire.
• Mel Kiper Jr. as ESPN’s draft day expert.
And his hair.
What hasn’t
• Weaver not on Twitter.
• Weaver trading the No. 7 overall pick for the Seahawks’ No. 1 overall pick, plus the Browns’ first-round picks for the next three years, then telling his staff to “find out everything there is to know” about Callahan. Uh, hey Sonny, maybe that research needed to be completed before the eve of the draft?
• Weaver’s blockbuster trade going public after a tweet by Mack. That’s a classic case of draft-day suicide by Mack, who’s then still picked No. 1 overall by Weaver. Yeah, sure.
• Weaver asking his staff with the draft ongoing, “Who’s the GM at Jacksonville?” Yeah, sure.
• Weaver then trading his three secondround picks for the next thee years for the Jaguars’ No. 6 overall pick. Meanwhile, Callahan (portrayed in the film as a loose cannon behind the scenes) is still on the board and sensing the Seahawks want him with the No. 7 pick Weaver traded to Seattle earlier in the day, Weaver trades the No. 6 pick he just acquired and in return gets back the three No. 1 picks he traded — plus punt returner David Putney! — in return. It’s easily ranks as one of if not the most ridiculous scenes in the history of sports films. That is, unless you question if Rocky Balboa could absorb 500 haymakers from Ivan Drago in “Rocky IV” for 15 rounds and appear just fine afterward. That’s for another column. Let’s move on.
• Fans in the film cheering NFL commissioner Roger Goodell at the draft.
• Chris Berman anchoring ESPN’s coverage of the draft.
• Denis Leary as Browns head coach Vince Penn. Something was amiss with this casting, but he seemed to enjoy the role. In 2016, when the Browns were (again) looking for a coach, Leary went to Twitter with the message, “Hey Cleveland @Browns I’m available to coach.”
Now get going and rewatch “Draft Day.”