Symptoms of alcoholism interrupt spouse’s sleep and much, much more

DEAR DR. ROACH » My husband has been an alcoholic for 30 years. I have recently started to sleep in our living room due to his smell. He is furious! I have not slept well for so long

— I know it’s affected my health. He doesn’t want me sick, but he is making me sick. Please stress in your column how important sleep is — for everybody!

ANSWER » There’s a lot more wrong here than just sleep.

Excess alcohol use has a dramatic negative effect on relationships, especially between the person with an alcohol problem and their spouse. It often affects children and friends as well. Work life is often affected very late in the course of alcohol abuse.

A strong odor is common in people who drink. The alcohol itself has an odor most people can discern, but byproducts of alcohol metabolism can be noticed in the breath, all over the skin through sweat glands and in the urine. It lasts for hours, many hours if a person has been drinking enough, and nothing can fully disguise it.

You asked about sleep, and alcohol affects the drinker’s quality of sleep. “Falling asleep” does not automatically follow on the heels of “passing out.” And, of course, there is the effect on the bed partner. Poor sleep is associated with increased risk of heart disease and stroke as well as mental health issues. Volunteers who undergo sleep deprivation will often develop muscle aches identical to people with fibromyalgia.

You say your husband is furious: Is he upset enough to change his behavior? Sometimes, a powerful message, like your action of leaving the bed, can get a drinker to reassess. There is a great deal of help available for him if he is willing to accept it. His doctor or a mental health professional can guide him. In addition, YOU should consider getting some help and support, either through a mental health professional or through an organization like Al-Anon, a support group for people whose lives are affected by a loved one’s drinking.

Keith Roach