MHARS Board encourages #CopingWithTheHolidays

Keeping your mental health in check during the holidays can be difficult for some dealing with increased isolation and loneliness due to the novel coronavirus pandemic.

The Mental Health, Addiction and Recovery Services Board of Lorain County is making efforts to help the community cope with the emotional toll of the holiday season in a booklet called “Coping With the Holidays,” aimed at helping people through a series of tips.

“We all strive to make the holidays the best time of the year,” according to the booklet. “There is an expectation to have the perfect holiday for ourselves, family and friends.

“This often unrealistic goal is reflected in movies, television, books, stories of holidays past and our own internal ideals. But, we all too readily find out that this goal of achieving the perfect holiday is only a myth.

“With our fast-paced lifestyles, we do not have the time or energy to do everything. Baking homemade treats, finding perfect gifts, decorating, entertaining our friends, and working full or part-time jobs, leaves little time for ourselves.”

The booklet provides information for people to mitigate stress, depression, the complications of grief and assisting those in recovery from drug or alcohol abuse.

The MHARS Board has posted daily updates since early November, offering tips to the community under the hash tag #CopingWithTheHolidays and drawing on resources from the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation.

Tips for avoiding relapse

• Plan your support system ahead of time. “Bookend” events with planned before-and-after telephone calls to someone in recovery. Limit time in stressful situations or around difficult people and always have an “escape plan.”

• Understand the emotional complexity of the holidays.

• Focus on others. The holidays offer a spiritual opportunity to practice focusing on others with gratitude and joy. Adopting this perspective can take tremendous courage. Because you are in recovery, you already have demonstrated the capacity for tremendous courage and change.

Look for ways to think about others. Keep track of what you are drinking and steer clear of rationalizations. If you accidentally pick up the wrong drink and swallow some alcohol, this doesn’t mean you will relapse but watch out for rationalizations, which could creep in. Tell someone who is supportive of recovery about it as soon as possible. A mistake is not a relapse — but it can lead to one if kept a secret.

• Avoid vulnerable situations. If Uncle Bob will try to mix you a stiff drink, stay away from him.

• Remember self-care.

• If you need treatment, consider getting it during the holidays.

Tips for responsible gambling

• Gambling should only be for fun. It is not, and never will be, a way to invest or earn money.

• Always limit how much you are willing to lose, as well as how much time you spend gambling.

• When you get ahead, quit. Don’t feel pressured to gamble with winnings to win more; be satisfied that you came out ahead.

• Realize that you should be able to afford to lose any money you bet.

• Never gamble just because you are bored or to decrease stress.

• Maintain other interests and hobbies other than just gambling.

• If you lose money one time gambling, don’t gamble another time with just the intent to win the money back. Once it’s gone, it’s gone

How to help someone with grief

• Allow them to talk about their feelings and memories, and try to get them involved in new activities.

• Change your traditional pattern in some way; have the family dinner at a different place, or open the gifts at a different time. Create new rituals and family traditions.

• Don’t let a person spend too much time alone. If a person becomes depressed or starts drinking or using drugs to cope, help is available 24/7 at 1-800-888-6161.

• Remember, many people think of their pets as part of the family, and their loss can be just as painful.

Surviving divorce

• After divorce, be sure to let the children know that the holidays will continue, but in a different way. When making plans, be sure to decide ahead of time how the holidays will be divided and remember to include the children in this planning.

• Make sure you and your children have realistic expectations.

• Try to get plenty of rest, exercise and eat healthy so you will be better able to cope. Remember, tired children are more easily stressed and likely to be moody.

• Plan fun activities. If memories are too painful, consider a vacation, or a visit to out-of-state relatives.

• Take one day at a time. Rely on support from friends and family, and realize that it will get easier with time.