Girl thinks she may be getting catfished

DEAR AMY >> I need advice about a guy. We’ve been talking for about three weeks on Instagram and I really like him.

It feels like I’ve known him for a long time. He gives amazing advice. I feel like he is my best friend, but I’m afraid to ask him out because I don’t want to lose our friendship.

He lives pretty far away, and I asked him, “Hey, can I have your Snapchat?” and he said, “It’s private.” I also asked him if we could use FaceTime, and he said no.

I’m afraid he might be an older guy, but he posts pictures that make him look my age. I’m afraid the pictures might be fake. What should I do?

— Worried Girl

DEAR WORRIED >> Please! This guy is not available to you. He is telling you in many different ways that he is not available to you.

As you probably know, it takes absolutely no imagination or expertise to set up a fake Instagram (or any social networking) account. This guy could be absolutely anybody — and he might not be a guy at all. Watch a few episodes of “Catfish” and you will see that you should be much more skeptical about him. The big red flag is that he won’t communicate visually with you in real time, and is hiding behind this account.

It can be challenging to “reverse image search” a photo on Instagram, but there are apps that claim to be able to help you find the source of an image. You might find out that this individual is using someone else’s photo and identity by locating the origin of some of the images he uses.

Wean yourself from this contact. Back away. You don’t need to confront him, but you should ghost and then block him. He will then troll Instagram for someone else to toy with. It would be healthiest for you to concentrate on trying to get to know people whose identity you can absolutely verify, preferably in person.

DEAR AMY >> Your response to “Lying on the Beach” was terrible! This letter was written by a man whose crime was that he enjoys looking at beautiful women on the beach! You said that everybody likes to look at attractive people, so what’s the problem?

As usual, your sexist take encourages women to be overly sensitive.

— Disappointed

DEAR DISAPPOINTED >> Yes, I do believe that it is a pleasure to witness young and/or beautiful people out in the world. But the man who wrote this letter described his own behavior as more ogling than passively appreciating. He described himself as wanting to “Stand up and applaud.”

I assumed it would be easy for him to alter his behavior so as to respect his wife.