What’s in a name? A lot for synchronized swimming

BUDAPEST, HUNGARY » OK, folks, there’s a dark cloud hanging over sports, a pressing issue that can’t go unchallenged.

They’ve changed the name of synchronized swimming.

What would Martin Short say?

He may not be a very strong swimmer — remember that lifejacket he wore in the hilarious “SNL” skit from the 1980s? — but it was always his dream to compete at the Olympics.

In synchronized swimming, that is.

Not artistic swimming, which is the sport’s new moniker.

In one of its typically perplexing moves, world governing body FINA found time during the world championships in Budapest to dramatically rebrand a sport that already faces an uphill battle for acceptance from a large swath of the population who see it as nothing but thick globs of hair gel, elaborate suits and over-the-top deckwork (which is very important, you know).

Let’s get serious for a minute, as hard as that may be.

FINA’s decision totally demeans these amazing athletes (try swimming upside down while doing calisthenics and holding your breath up to 30 seconds), gave little thought to their input (which seems almost unanimous in opposing the change) and could actually make it easier to boot the sport out of the Olympics if there’s ever a serious effort to pare down the bloated program.

“This makes it sound like more of a show,” American Bill May said Friday in a telephone interview, back home after earning a pair of bronze medals in the mixed duet events at Budapest. “That’s not what we want people to equate synchronized swimming to.”

But it sounds like that’s exactly what FINA had in mind.

Cornel Marculescu, the organization’s powerful executive director, said the change was made at the prodding of television networks, sponsors and even the International Olympic Committee, all of which felt a new name might lead to increased popularity for a sport that draws scant attention outside the Summer Games.

“Artistic is the word that probably expresses much more what’s happening in the water than synchronization,” Marculescu said, before quickly adding: “The sport will not change. We’re talking about the same sport. There is no change whatsoever. Just the presentation is going to be different. Instead of synchronized swimming, it’s going to be

A petition has been launched to persuade FINA to backpedal on its decision, though it seems unlikely to have much of an impact on an organization that just reelected a top official linked to a bribery scandal.

Marculescu shrugged off the outrage as the normal response to any radical decision.

“People have different opinions. That positive. If you have different opinions, you can progress,” he said. “If you only have one opinion, you talk one second and then die.”

For those who love synchronized swimming, this is no laughing matter.

“I appreciate the fact that FINA wants to evolve the sport and help it grow,” May said. “I don’t think this is the way to do it.”

Even Martin Short would agree with that.

MICHAEL SOHN — THE ASSOCIATED PRESS Team China performs during the women’s team free combination synchronized swimming final at the 17th FINA World Championships in Budapest, Hungary.