The News Herald (Willoughby, OH)

Woman confused by ‘delete’ request

- Amy Dickinson Contact Amy Dickinson via email at askamy@ tribpub.com.

DEAR AMY » I’ve had an on-and-off relationsh­ip with a guy for about six years. We’re both 45.

He’s divorced with a son in high school. I’ve never been married.

Recently we made plans for a Monday night. There is a history of this guy “disappeari­ng” and not following through on plans.

I emailed him a couple of times the week before, with no response. When I hadn’t heard back from him the Friday before, I emailed him, letting him know I had made other plans for Monday.

I got a response telling me to erase his number and email, and to never contact him again.

I’ve since sent a number of emails apologizin­g profusely, with no response. I can’t believe that my “offense” (making other plans and letting him know I wasn’t going to be available after not hearing from this guy for over a week) is a capital offense, one for which you’d cut all contact from someone you’ve known for six years. I’m not sure what to do at this point! — Wondering Woman DEAR WONDERING » When someone demands that you delete him from your life, that’s exactly what you should do. I wonder how much more informatio­n you need from this man in order to get the message that this relationsh­ip is over.

Based on your version of events, he has overreacte­d to this particular situation. But based on other clues you scatter in your question, I suspect that you might have a pattern of putting up with a lot of nonsense and also not reacting proportion­ally to various social cues.

You should not offer apologies when you’ve done nothing wrong. To do so is not only confusing, but also throws off the balance in a relationsh­ip.

Now, you should redirect your energy, perhaps toward some introspect­ion, in an effort to understand why you have been in this relationsh­ip for six years, and why you feel the need to apologize when someone has been rude to you.

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