Man not looking for relationships

DEAR AMY » I am a man in my late 40s. I am divorced and raised two children on my own as a single dad.

After getting divorced, I was in a long-term relationship with a woman, which ended amicably. I dated occasionally after that, but really just wanted to be with my kids.

Now they are grown, and I have the time and money to travel and do other things for myself.

I am not interested in getting involved in another long-term relation- ship, nor am I interested in onenight stands. To be honest, I am somewhat revolted by the thought of sex. It just seems messy, and I would prefer to not have to deal with the consequences of sexual contact, both physically and emotionally.

I am often approached by women in bars, restaurants, grocery stores, etc., who seem interested in me. I am also constantly being offered to be set up with women by friends and colleagues.

How do I explain my position regarding sex and relationships without either hurting someone’s feelings or losing face? — Sexless and Happy DEAR SEXLESS » To women who approach you, you should say, “Sorry, but I’m not available.” Leave them to draw their own conclusions.

To others, you can say, “Please, don’t set me up. Ever. I honestly have absolutely NO interest in a relationship.” Don’t explain further unless you want to.

DEAR AMY » “Heartbroken Mom” was worried that her young teen daughter was becoming a doormat to a boy she liked.

Thank you so much for your compassionate answer. I loved your suggestion that this girl should learn new things in order to gain a foothold on her own personhood. — Big Fan DEAR FAN » It seems like yesterday when I was an insecure teenager. I simply channeled some things I wished I’d figured out when I was that age.

Contact Amy Dickinson via email at askamy@ tribpub.com.