Parents’ relationship goes to the puppy

DEAR AMY » What do you do if one parent in the family wants a dog (as do all of the children), while the other parent (the one who does 95 percent of the housework) does not?

I am in a 19-year marriage. My husband and I have four children. Our oldest just left for college.

My husband is now insisting that we get a dog, (a puppy!) for him and our two sons, who are still at home.

Amy, we had a dog for six months, about five years ago. It ran away.

Guess who took care of it, completely? Yes, me.

I do not want this responsibility and the burden of taking care of another dog.

My husband says he plans to go against my wishes and get a dog, regardless of what I say. DEAR DOGLESS » Bringing an animal into the home is adding a member to your family. Your household is looking at potentially the next 15 to 20 years of dog care, unless this dog, like your other dog, follows its better instincts and takes off.

How unfortunate for your children, that they have a father who conveys such open disrespect toward their mother. And how unfortunate for whatever puppy your husband might acquire, which will be brought into the household of an irresponsible owner, and a resentful spouse.

You should talk to your family as a group. Tell them, calmly, “I know you want a puppy, but I don’t. Because I am home and would be expected to provide a majority of the dog’s care, day in and out, I believe that my wishes should prevail. There are many ways to spend time with a dog if you want to, including volunteering at the local shelter.”

If, after this, your husband brings home a puppy, you should exercise your own freedom to travel. Tell the family that you are going away for a couple of weeks, giving them a chance to learn to take care of the new family member on their own and make a final decision about it. Ask your sons to decide which of them will forego after-school sports and weekend activities in order to take care of the dog. Perhaps they can trade off with your husband.

Contact Amy Dickinson via email at askamy@ tribpub.com.