Young video game addict reaches out for help

DEAR AMY » Iam 13 years old and addicted to video games.

I would wake up early in the morning and just play on the weekends until they asked me to stop.

It has gotten to the point where my mom has bought a safe to keep the controllers in. I have gone through her desk desperately and found the key, which I later told her I had taken. Please help!

— Addicted to Games DEAR ADDICTED » I shared your question with my friend, the popular comic (and deep thinker) Paula Poundstone, who has dealt with this in her own life. Paula is also author of the wonderful memoir, “The Totally Unscientific Study of the Search for Human Happiness,” (2017, Algonquin Books).

Here is Paula’s response, addressed directly to you:

I’m so sorry. This is a really difficult problem that you are facing. I want you to know that it is not your fault. You, like so many, have been the victim of adult greed.

The companies that make those games hire behavioral psychologists to purposely help them make the games addictive. They have designed the games so that your brain gets hits of a feel-good chemical called dopamine when you play them. A brain overstimulated by video games looks the same as a brain on cocaine.

So, it is not your fault. Unfortunately, it is, however, your problem.

The truth is, there is no good reason to play video games, when you consider that doing so can alter the white matter in your brain. That would also be called “brain damage.” If you found out that playing Monopoly could give you brain damage, do you think you’d want to ever play Monopoly again in your life?

There is some really terrific news here, though: You recognize that you have a problem, you busted yourself for taking the key to the safe and you are asking for help. All of that is major!

I choke on the irony of directing you to a website, but the suggestions and support at familiesmanagingmedia.com are good.

Don’t reward yourself with game time. That sets up the wrong dynamic. I don’t even think you should taper off. Get rid of your gaming system. It’s easier to just not have it around. Replace videogaming time with activities that we know are good for the brain: exercise, reading, being out in nature, writing, learning to sing or play an instrument, make art, get involved in building, dance or theater. Ask your school to help you start a support group.

Thank you for asking for help. I’m proud of you. You may have helped others do the same.

Amy Dickinson