Nurse and cop put in a dating shift

DEAR AMY » Iam a nurse. I started dating a police officer seven months ago.

We like each other and are getting along. We are both working full time and going to school.

He lives two hours away from me. While we talk on the phone daily, he only wants to see me once every six or seven weeks.

I asked him if we could see each other once every four weeks (because I know he is busy), but he doesn’t want that. He says, “This is the only way the relationship works.”

I complained a few times and asked him if we could see each other more often.

He suggested that I should find a new guy. I am offended. I like him so much, but I am lonely. I feel like he has more fun being alone rather than being with me. Does this man even want to be in a relationship? Am I forcing myself on him?

— Confused Girl DEAR CONFUSED » Your question prompted me to do some reading on the whole nurse-police officer dating nexus, and my casual research reveals that, yes, nurses and cops can make great partners. Both professions seem to draw plucky, hardworking people who are drawn toward service, and can tolerate challenging shift work.

You don’t realize it but you are lucky. Why? Because you have clarity.

Your officer-friend is telling you exactly where he stands. He is saying, “This is what works for me. If it doesn’t work for you, you should find someone else.” If he was more into you, he would probably beat a path to your door, no matter the distance. But — he is not.

You are saying, “But this doesn’t work for me.”

Boom. You have your answer. DEAR AMY » “Dismissed Wife” talked about the lack of emotional support her husband offered her. You picked up on the detail that she had lost a child. Many years after our son died, my marriage started to fall apart. I now realize it was delayed stress from our terrible grief. Thank you for recommending Compassionate Friends support group.

— Survivor DEAR SURVIVOR » Support and fellowship from other parents who have experienced terrible loss is a lifeline for survivors.