The ‘kids’ reject Dad’s new marriage. What now?

DEAR AMY » Iama 52-year-old divorcee who recently married a wonderful 62-year-old widower.

We are very happy except for one thing: Before we married, my husband’s grown children (37 and 35) attempted to stop us.

His son was very happy and supportive initially, but his daughter apparently influenced the son to change his mind. Neither attended our wedding.

I understand that they were trying to prevent their father from rushing into marriage. On the other hand, we didn’t really think we needed his children’s permission to marry. Our romance was a bit of a whirlwind, but we have known each other for six years.

Meeting his daughter upon our return from our honeymoon would have been my priority (she lives locally), but now I’m wondering if that will ever happen.

Now that we are back home her father has been to see her, but he can’t get her to acknowledge me or our marriage.

I am very sad about all of this. Should I reach out to his children? If so, how should I begin?

— Baffled Bride DEAR BAFFLED » Well, you’re off to a bad start, and the person who could fix this — possibly quite quickly — is your husband.

He did not need his daughter’s permission to GET married, and now he should stop trying to get her permission to BE married.

His marriage to you should be presented as a very happy occurrence, and his adult children should be encouraged in a friendly, firm and no-nonsense way, to accept it.

You don’t say when your husband’s late wife died, but you should all understand with compassion that his children might have difficulties with his new relationship. But they are adults. Giving them the option NOT to cope will not help them.

Yes, I think you should reach out. Write a friendly email inviting both of them to dinner on a specific night.

Strongly encourage your husband to handle this, quickly — otherwise you could face a divided household, and that is no way to run a family.