The Reality Of Parenting In This Generation

So, this has happened to me before. I had a fun, upbeat parenting topic that I wrote. I was especially pumped when my oldest daughter (my editor extraordinaire) read it and loved it. Although, five days later, and approximately five days prior to submission, something happened. It was February 14th…and frankly, I didn’t feel like submitting a damn thing. A blank page maybe? Maybe a page with just three words on it: “What the heck?”, which if you know me, you know I don’t always sensor well, so that probably would have wound up a different ‘h’ word, or worse.

Here we go again. It started out as a typical day…except it wouldn’t end that way. I arrived home after work to greet my kids wanting to hear about their day. All the while I knew there could be an elephant in the room but was hoping they were lucky enough to have gone through their day not knowing yet. I vowed to keep quiet about the news headlines and the reality of another school shooting. I just couldn’t bring myself to admit such a horrific event once again…or make them fearful. I don’t know if I was right or not, I just wasn’t capable of going there again. It was short lived. My son greeted me, remote in hand (usually he’s reading a book after school, but not today). He casually but solemnly pointed towards the tv, announcing, “I wanted to see which events were on the Olympics tonight…and well…I saw this…”. My heart stopped (and it actually ached). His thirteen-year-old innocent (but not so innocent) face stared at me…he in disbelief, but not in shock. Me. The same. But add a feeling of defeat. We aren’t surprised! This is my reality as a parent in America, and this…is just…another commonplace conversation at home with my kids. I’m sickened. I’m P!$$&@!

So, honestly, what else could I possibly write about when I worked half my life raising three kids and they’re still alive building their dreams in front of me, but there are other parents in the world (even just towns away from me) reeling in devastation knowing they will never see their children again because they were gunned down in the very place they felt comfortable away from home? I couldn’t possibly publish anything happy right now. I’m sick. Tired. Frustrated. Sad. I’m living just fifteen minutes away from Chardon, Ohio; a town where a teenager gunned down several students at their high school (February 27th makes six years since it happened). In my home state of Connecticut, another gunman did the same, but instead it was done at an elementary school (this was at the end of that same year as Chardon). Last week a kid brought a gun into his middle school (his MIDDLE school) and shot himself with it. Accident, on purpose, who knows yet. But what the…

ahem…. else can I possibly think, or care to write about, when all over the nation the lives of children are being callously taken in such gruesome ways (no matter their age, they’ll always be someone’s children)! I’m known for writing positively, finding the silver lining and the humor in many of our parenting problems. But I’m so angry… There is nothing I can do to hide that or make light of it. There is nothing funny about it and my kids are still here…I cannot imagine the emotions, the pain, or the excruciatingly long (or near impossible) road of coping and healing for the parents who are living this, and not just talking about it. Times have changed…

Due to space restrictions this month, this column must be continued. If you’re computer savvy, go to www.FamilyMatterswithAmber.org to read the rest of this column as well as previous publications on the subject. If you aren’t comfortable with computers at this time, Pt. II will be published in next month’s issue of County Kids. As always, thank you for reading and thank you for praying for those affected by such violence which is tearing families apart and discouraging our communities.