Pregnant co-worker stands her ground, seated

DEAR AMY » I’m a woman who works in an informal office environment.

Today I was in a crowded meeting with more co-workers than chairs. I got to the meeting a bit late. Not wanting to stand the entire time for this long meeting, I quickly, and happily, sat on the floor.

As I am currently four months pregnant, several co-workers (both male and female) politely offered me their chairs. I told them I appreciated their kind offers but that I was fine where I was.

One of my co-workers refused to take my no for an answer. He immediately stood up. I told him again that I was happy on the floor and to please sit down. Embarrassingly for me, he refused, and remained standing for the rest of the meeting. I also “stood my ground” and remained on the floor.

I know it is polite to offer your chair to a pregnant woman, but I was fine where I was. I felt uncomfortable being singled out.

I think if I declined the chair, then he should have respected my wishes and sat back down. He thinks it would have been rude to have a chair while I was on the floor. What do you think?

— Pregnant, But Still Able DEAR PREGNANT » Offering one’s seat to a pregnant person is one of the last courtesies that is still widely accepted.

Your pregnancy is not a disability — far from it. But, while neither you nor your male co-worker were wrong, you were both discourteous in fairly equal degrees.

It can be impolite to refuse a kindness, even if you feel this particular kindness was born in another era and offered with condescension.

Everyone witnessing this courtesy would feel a sense of fulfilment if you had taken the seat and thanked the giver. As it is, I guarantee that each person in the meeting was hyper-conscious of the pregnant woman on the floor.

After you have been through your entire pregnancy, you may come to a different understanding of the role that simple acts of kindness toward expectant mothers play as a way that people recognize one another’s humanity.