The News Herald (Willoughby, OH)
Queen of serene?
Fiery comic Lisa Lampanelli hints at a change of pace after her tour-ending Cleveland gig
Lisa Lampanelli has a secret, and she’s not talking.
Once the Queen of Mean ends her current tour with a fast-approaching Playhouse Square gig, she’s moving on.
“I’ve achieved everything in my life that I wanted,” said Lampanelli, calling from Seattle.
“I played Radio City (Music Hall), sold it out. Carnegie Hall, sold it out. I have 12 appearances on ‘The Tonight Show’ and multiple roasts. I’m a gift to the masses. Basically, after Cleveland, I’m out of here. I’m never going out of my house again.
“But is she serious? Or is she just going to retire from stand-up and come back as an actress? Or is she going to sit on her ass with her dog, look at the water, go slowly insane and then have to make a big comeback. Who knows?”
When pressed if Lampanelli, 56, is actually considering retirement after her gig June 23 at the Ohio Theatre, she doesn’t want to divulge too much info.
“Shut-up, SHUT-UP,” she said. “I will say this: Once I do Cleveland, there will be at least a year where Lisa Lampanelli doesn’t do stand-up. So, you’re lucky to see me right now.”
For now, though, the insult comic with a sharp tongue is letting loose onstage. The Lampanelli phone conversation took place the day before she had what’s being described as a meltdown in San Jose when a heckler interrupted her show.
Considering her upcoming sabbatical from stand-up comedy, you get the sense the funny lady is ready to explore every night on stage.
“I’ll tell you the truth: I’ve gone mental the last few years,” Lampanelli said.
“You thought I was outspoken before, just wait now that (Donald) Trump is in the White House, now that I lost my weight and really have come to appreciate life more.
“So pretty much, I never have any restrictions on anything I say on stage. All bets are off. I’m lucky my audience knows what they’re going to get when they come to see me. I only promise one thing, it will be loud. And they will get offended from at least one or two jokes.”
As far as her future is concerned, odds are it could involve acting. Lampanelli has done her share over the last decade, including appearing in features films “Not Fade Away,” “Delta Farce” and “Drillbit Taylor.”
The comedienne truly became a household name in 2011 when she appeared on the fifth season of NBC’s “Celebrity Apprentice,” which, naturally, was hosted by the aforementioned man who has since become president of the United States.
“What happened to Trump?” Lampanelli said. “When he was a businessman, we roasted him on Comedy Central. We had so much fun. He had a sense of humor. He could take a joke. Now he’s become all serious and crazy. And I say this: The jokes don’t stop when it comes to him.
“Even though he and I were very friendly on ‘The Apprentice’ ... Trump is still a funny subject matter. I don’t care if you love him or hate him, you can laugh about it. There will be a fair amount of Trumproast jokes in my set.”
Despite Lampanelli remaining steadfast in not divulging her future plans, it’s obvious: She’s going to become Trump’s next press secretary.
“Oh my God, dude, that is so funny,” Lampanelli said.
“I’m going to take over for Sarah Huckabee Sanders because I can be even a bigger battle-axe, big mouth than she is. I love that you got it out of me, damn it.”