Leaving a lot to be desired

‘What Men Want’ gets a few laughs, but rom-com update is lazy fare

It wasn’t a bad idea to remake 2000 rom-com “What Women Want,” in which Mel Gibson’s character gains the ability to hear the thoughts of women, with a woman (Taraji P. Henson) this time hearing the thoughts of men.

Unfortunately, that’s about where the good ideas end with “What Men Want.”

Said to be “inspired by” the uneven Nancy Meyers directed film but not at all inspiring to watch, this update does start decently enough. However, after setting all its pieces into place, it displays storytelling that’s about as impressive as a man giving his lady love a bowling ball for Valentine’s Day.

A Valentine’s Day-season release, “What Men Want” acts as if all it has to do is give the women out there a reason for a night out together at the movies. Well, the ladies deserve a little better than this cocktail, which, despite an R rating, is pretty weak.

Henson (“Empire,” “Hidden Figures”) is Ali, an associate at a sizeable Atlanta sports agency. She’s a busy, career-minded woman, whom we meet running on a treadmill in her office while conducting an important call, reading something on her tablet and swiping away notifications from a dating site.

Frustrated when she doesn’t want to deal with the person on the other end of an incoming call, she tells her loyal, sheepishly ambitious and gay assistant, Brandon (Josh Brener of “Silicon Valley” and “The Internship”), to handle it.

“I’m NOT dealing with stupid people today,” she declares.

And this is a big day, a day she long has dreamt about, the day she finally makes partner at the agency. So sure is Ali that it is her time, in fact, she already has leased an expensive Porsche.

Of course, at the morning’s big meeting in the agency conference room — after she endures two men discussing a sexual conquest and one of them saying it’s OK to say these things around her because she can handle “locker room talk” — she is passed over again, one of her many male coworkers getting the coveted promotion.

Her boss (one-time NFL player Brian Bosworth) points out that while she represents a lot of big-time female athletes, such as WNBA star Lisa Leslie — one of several real sports figures who make cameos — she doesn’t represent anyone from the big three of the NFL, MLB or NBA.

“You’re doing great in your lane,” he says, adding she should be content to stay in it.

At a time when her agency is focused on landing a soon-to-be star athlete — expected first-overall pick in the upcoming NBA draft and Atlanta native Jamal Barry (Shane Paul McGhie, “Shameless”) — Ali sets out to be the one to reel in the big fish.

Standing in her way, along with her colleagues, is the lad’s father (Tracy Morgan), who now goes by Joe Dolla. The character seems to be at least loosely based on famous basketball dad, businessman and media celebrity LaVar Ball. Think Ball mixed with Morgan’s “30 Rock” — Joe mainly rambles nonsensically — character and you pretty much have Joe Dolla.

Ali’s frustrations with her colleagues, Joe and Will (Aldis Hodge, “Hidden Figures,” “Straight Outta Compton”) — a handsome, charming bartender with whom she spends a night and who may not be all he seemed — lead to her telling a psychic (Erykah Badu) that she wants to have a better idea about what men are thinking.

The next day at the office, she is able, much to her horror, to hear inside every man’s head. She tells Brandon, who is understandable incredibly freaked out, that it may be due to some weird tea the psychic had her drink.

“I thought black people stopped drinking tea after ‘Get Out’!” Brandon exclaims, delivering what probably is the movie’s best line.

As you’d expect, “What Men Want” does manage to mine some humor from Ali’s ability. On the other hand, the thoughts of many of the males populating the spaces around her are simply vulgar. (This is the least surprising when it comes to a character played by “Saturday Night Live” cast member Pete Davidson, who’s typically vulgar when he speaks, too.)

Still, even if men can be pigs, this is a bit much, writers Tina Gordon, Peter Huyck and Alex Gregory too often going very dirty instead of coming up with much that could be called clever.

Perhaps worse, the plot device they use to set up the movie’s inevitable climactic conflict is entirely lame. When Will shows up with his young son at Ali’s office to return something to her, she ropes him into helping her impress Joe. You see, despite all of Joe’s blowhard tendencies, family is very important to him, and he wants his son’s agent to be a family man or woman. Instead of simply being honest with Will about the situation, which seems as it would have been relatively easy, she hides the truth from him.

(Will, by the way, is the movie’s lone perfect man. Even when Ali spies on his thoughts, they’re either innocuous or completely flattering to her. The writers missed an opportunity to create some mild-but-amusing moments here while still portraying Will as a good dude.)

PARAMOUNT PICTURES Taraji P. Henson’s Ali thought she’d earned a promotion at work in an early scene in “What Men Want,” but the football representing the partnership position was meant for a male colleague sitting farther down the table.