Time to move over straw turtle, now it’s glove fish

Sometimes TV shows jump the shark to stay on the air longer than they should. It’s not unique to show business. This month, environmentalists jumped the shark–or more specifically perch–with their latest anti-plastic campaign.

A photograph of a small perch trapped in a medical glove has become the new poster animal of the anti-plastic movement.

Much to the chagrin of the turtle with a straw in its nose, the glove fish has taken the throne as the mascot urging Americans to abandon any “single-use” item — even medical equipment — to help other marine animals from suffering the same fate.

For what it’s worth, the straw-nosed turtle was very effective. Dozens of the largest cities in the United States have banned straws after more than 41 million people watched the clip of researchers pulling a straw from the turtle’s nose.

Some were so compelled by the heartbreaking video that they didn’t realize the “500 million straws per day” figure that many cities cited when banning straws was based on the rough estimate of a 9-yearold.

It turns out that plastic straws are approximately 0.03 percent of plastic waste in the ocean, while fishing gear makes up nearly half of the Great Pacific Garbage Patch.

The turtle video was a case of misplaced priorities. That said, plastic straws are easily replaceable and not easily recyclable, so their prohibition isn’t the end of the known world.

The same cannot be said of medical equipment. It is essential. Unlike straws, there would be serious harm from attempts to restrict these and other valuable single-use products.

From the beginning of the pandemic, environmentalists have been lamenting the fact that governments had to repeal anti-plastic legislation to keep people safe based on the information they had at the time.

Plastic bag bans were repealed because store clerks didn’t want to have to touch reusable bags. Governments mandated that restaurants could only sell food as takeout which required plastic containers, utensils, and bags. And, most importantly, governments mandated that people wear masks to protect themselves from the COVID-19 virus.

Face masks, hand sanitizer bottles, syringes, and gloves were lifelines to all Americans. It turns out that pandemic protection requires a lot of plastic. And environmentalists hated that.

The Story of Stuff, an antiplastic group, floated a conspiracy theory that it wasn’t doctors or public health experts who were concerned about COVID-19 spreading through contact, it was the plastic industry pulling the strings behind the scenes to spark sales of bags and takeout containers.

The conspiracy deserves to be condemned as harshly as any of the other COVID-19 conspiracies that have put lives at risk.

Environmentalists are using the same dangerous messaging with the glove fish. Advocates told National Geographic that Americans should shift from single-use masks to reusable masks. But reusable masks are just not as effective as N95 or surgical masks.

The U.S. needs to be responsible with its waste, but the fact is that Americans are really not to blame for the plastic in the ocean. China and other Asian countries dump the most plastic into the ocean.

One study found the U.S. was responsible for roughly 1 percent of the ocean’s mismanaged trash while 93 percent of the trash could be traced to 10 rivers in Asia and Africa. (Glove fish was found in a canal in the Dutch city of Leiden.)

Americans should not be bullied into sacrificing essential products, including medical equipment, because one fish had the misfortune of swimming into a glove.

There has to be a logical middle ground at which environmentalists and the average person can meet on the issue of single-use plastics.

The best way forward is to promote recycling for essential plastic products while reducing the use of frivolous plastic items.

Essential plastics are products that are needed in emergencies like medical equipment or bottled water. Food wrap is also an essential plastic that preserves the shelflife of foods to minimize food waste and the associated methane emissions.

Non-essential plastics, on the other hand, are non-recyclable items that can easily be replaced by alternatives. Straws, polystyrene take-out containers, and coffee stirrers can all be swapped out without harming anyone. The same cannot be said for essential plastics.

We can feel bad for glove fish without letting glove fish determine our environmental policies. Plastic policy deserves a serious conversation, not a steady stream of sad animals.

Will Coggin