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It’s hard to believe Spring is almost here. We’ve had an odd winter. The weather has been flip-floppy; unseasonably warm, teasing us with promises of a mild winter, then flipping the switch, wind chills in the negative numbers delivering and blizzards out of nowhere, only melting the next day leaving heaps of mud behind. I’m not a fan of Spring for that last reason, but I’m welcoming it this year. I love snow, yes, but I’m kind of sick of the cold. (Oh boy, I’m starting to show my age.)

With the new season, also comes time for kids to go away to camp! Take a deep breath Mom and Dad…it’s going to be okay…especially for those yearning for a break from their brood. Some parents though, will not be ready at all. I know that the children with anxiety will also be having a difficult time.

All three of my kids used to go to camp with our church. The oldest was shy, the middle social, and the little one was a combination of the two but had a desire for adventure. As you can imagine, it was an adjustment for the oldest, easy for the middle (“See ya, Mama!”), but for the youngest it was a bit of a mix I didn’t expect. My baby, Jay, was a Mama’s boy. We were, and still are, very close. His anxiety, unbeknownst to me, prevented him from doing a lot of things easily (I didn’t recognize this until two years ago when he bowed out of learning how to drive). He is the one I had to do the most prepping for when it came to trips away from home.

It seems that since the pandemic there is even more fear and uneasiness in children than prior years. It’s sad, yes, but I see it as an opportunity to teach something. That something is three-fold: courage, resiliency, and perseverance. Life is not without scary things, and that’s not going to change, but we can assist kids through life’s greatest fears with empathy and preparation.

I was talking to a fellow mom of a preschooler recently, who said that because her daughter is a pandemic baby, she has a lot of anxiety around people and peers. Being an only child, paired with lack of socializing early on and spending most of her time with adults, has caused several issues in social settings. I hadn’t thought about this much, as my children are older and have different stages of anxiety that are not due to the pandemic. It made me think, this is probably very common and difficult for children who were born or adopted in the last three years. Lifestyles changed and life as we knew it did as well. Things have somewhat gone back to normal for us, but for kids it might not be the norm, it might be the unfamiliar (and scary).

I was interested in her experience, and what she was dealing with. I had a million questions. The most important one was, “How are you responding to and handling all of the issues that have happened with your daughter?” Here are some things I learned, and I hope they might help you and your child navigate their trip to camp or their next big social experience.

If they’re interested in doing something, talk with them about it, just ask them to try it and sign them up! Then encourage them, comfort them, but don’t completely let them back out.

Example: This mom signed her child up for the three classes she was interested in. Upon arriving to them, if anxiety hit, they remained in the lobby or just outside the door of the class. As the teacher approached, or the child peered in to the see the group already engaging in activities, it helped inspire her to go in and participate too. The mom did this with each class and did not leave, even if the child pouted or sat on the floor outside the room. Afterward, driving home they joyfully discussed the class. The child was happy and confident about what she just accomplished.

Get over what others think. This is your child and you, it’s not about anyone else. Focus on your child and not on the audience (in 10 years it’s not going to matter anyway). In one of the above instances,

Mom and child were in the lobby and there were chairs full of onlooking parents. While the child went through the stages of fear and tears (which does sometimes happen), Mom worried how it looked to others. However, with patience, confidence, and persistence, the mom kept cool and continued to be supportive and the child went into class and had a wonderful time. (Mom did say this was the hardest part of all, but she would do it again.)

Let your child know that you are there for them. This requires lots of communication, a little planning, and followthrough.

The topmost example in this one is to listen. There very well could be other reasons aside from fear or anxiety that is causing them apprehension, but if any dangers, bullying, or abuse are ruled out, just have compassion (not pity) for their feelings. Support them by explaining that you will be there, and they need not worry; whether you are just outside the door, in the lobby, sitting in the car outside the building in the parking lot, or a phone call or text message away. Even at camp the counselors/leaders have our cell #’s. More than once I’ve had my son call home just to say “Hi and goodnight” … after a few times he didn’t need to and was

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