‘Can you hear me now?’ YES!

DEAR AMY >> What words of advice would you have for addressing someone who is in a public place having a very public, loud, and personal phone conversation on their Bluetooth earbuds (or cellphones in general)?

I’m completely baffled as to why someone does this, but I see it all the time — in grocery stores, business offices — you name it.

No one wants to hear it, and it personally makes me feel awkward and uncomfortable.

— KQ, in Kentucky

DEAR KQ >> I believe the reason people tend to yell into their cellphones while they are using earphones or earbuds is because they can’t actually hear themselves very well … because their ears are plugged by their earbuds.

People tend to quickly believe that they are isolated when engaged in a private cellphone conversation — even in a public space.

Landlines (remember those?) have microphones in the earpiece so speakers can hear themselves. Cellphones don’t seem to utilize this function as well.

The so-called “Lombard effect” describes the human tendency to raise our voice to match the noise around us, even when this is unnecessary. Yes — this is annoying! I’d like to augment this gripe by adding an additional annoyance: People who use FaceTime in public.

I understand that all grandparents find their grandchildren adorable and compelling but must they visit with these children over FaceTime at a crowded restaurant? And again with the yelling!

Listeners tend to be more annoyed by overheard phone conversations than they are by overheard in-person conversations because we only overhear one side of the conversation. Our brain can’t help but be distracted as it tries to fill in the missing pieces. This is especially true if someone is YELLING.

Only one time have I actually confronted someone doing this. I approached a man who had shared some extremely sensitive and proprietary information over the phone while sitting right next to me at a Starbucks. I told him I was a reporter and had been taking notes. (Did this caution work, long term? I doubt it.)

I am deliberately dodging your actual question, because — other than trying to make eye contact and putting your finger to your lip in the universal “shhhhh” gesture — I don’t know how to respond to these loud intrusions.

Readers will want to weigh in… using your indoor voices, please!

DEAR AMY >> Here’s the situation: My friends and I are having a nice dinner at a casual restaurant when the table next to us vacates and leaves behind a bottle of wine that is half full. What to do?

Shall we grab it and celebrate, or leave it to the restaurant?

What a dilemma!

— Dilemma in Denver

DEAR DENVER >> If swiping wine from a neighboring table after the diners have finished their meal is your idea of a true dilemma (implying a decision between two relatively equal choices), then I will guard my French fries with more than the usual ferocity the next time I dine near you.

These other diners have paid for this wine and — just as they paid for their steak or crab cake — it is not appropriate for you to decide what to do with their leftovers.

For a more professional assessment of your question, I’ve shared it with Meaghan Frank, who is vice president at the family-owned winery started by her great-grandfather, the wine-making pioneer Dr. Konstantin Frank. Meaghan is also an instructor for the Wine and Spirit Education Trust.

Her response: “There are several issues here, hygiene being one. Just as you would not help yourself to water from another table’s half-finished pitcher, this bottle will have touched glasses which others have drunk from.

“Taking this wine is also not fair to the restaurant and staff. If your group decided to drink it at your table, you would be taking up the table for a longer period, preventing the restaurant from turning the table over, and likely affecting the amount of the server’s income for the night.”

DEAR AMY >> I have a suggestion for “Anxious Aunt,” whose niece was getting married in Europe.

She should not be pressured to attend. But I wonder if someone at the wedding ceremony could arrange to livestream it?

DEAR WONDERING >> Great idea! Anxious Aunt could even host a local get-together and viewing party for those other guests who couldn’t make the trip.

Offering to do so might

also serve to smooth the rocky reaction from family members regarding her decision not to attend this overseas wedding.

DEAR AMY >> During the summer I work as a housekeeper at local rental cabins. The guests are mostly fishermen and vacation travelers, so the duration of their stay may be one night or several nights.

If they are staying multiple nights, I visit the cabin while they are out and make the beds, replenish the coffee, condiments, soaps, replace used towels and remove the garbage.

If there is a kitchen with dirty dishes, I will wash those, even though there is a posting that indicates they are responsible for leaving the dishes clean upon departure.

Oftentimes the cabin looks like a bomb went off. I do the best I can.

I figure they are on vacation and have better things to do than clean. I take pride in my work.

More often than not, I receive no gratuity.

I do not spruce up the cabins only to receive a tip, but since I rarely see the guests, this is one way they can show their appreciation.

Once in a blue moon some will leave a note or a couple of coins laying on the floor.

With summer vacation plans being formulated now, please remind your readers to acknowledge the housekeeping staff.

— Cinderella DEAR CINDERELLA >> My theory is that anyone who has ever worked in the service sector tips generously.

I’m happy to remind everyone to do the same.

DEAR AMY >> I thought that your response to “Reluctant Grandma,” (the grandmother who didn’t feel comfortable hosting a baby shower for her son and his partner due to the fact that they weren’t married) was mean spirited and unfair.

The grandmother has every right to her feelings and or beliefs and she shouldn’t have been made to feel bad or put down as you did.

She can respectfully decline to host the shower without that adversely affecting her love or future relationship with the child.

What happened to you being able to respect and understand her feelings and perspective?

You were really hard on her.

I hope that your response didn’t make her change her mind. — Upset

DEAR UPSET >> I hope my response — harsh as it was — did make her change her mind. My intention was not to pressure this grandmother to host a shower. I was hoping to actually change the way she is thinking about and framing the birth of this child into her family.