Despite every struggle, man maintains unshakable faith
GREENWICH — As a third-generation son of Chickahominy who has been involved in local politics and civic organizations his whole life — it’s no surprise that many people in Greenwich know Dave D’Andrea.
But they might not know his deep personal struggles. D’Andrea has fought illnesses throughout his life, from a childhood battle with polio, through lung disease and diabetes to a bout with rectal cancer that nearly killed him. And he has known trauma, suffering as a 13-year-old victim of sexual abuse by a priest, a memory he repressed it until the worldwide church scandal brought it back.
D’Andrea relives all in a new memoir titled “Teardrops.” While struggle is a theme of the book, it takes a back seat to another: Faith.
On the cover, it says, “Enjoy life, trust in God.” No matter what his struggles have been, D’Andrea said he has never lost it. He said he hopes to inspire people to believe in something larger than themselves.
“I want people to realize that it doesn’t matter what faith you are,” he said. “Catholic. Jewish. Buddhist. Whatever. I don’t ever preach politics or religion to my own kids so I don’t believe in that. But everyone can and should pray. Whatever you choose as your prayer.
“I never lost my faith during all of this, and I want people to see that and understand it.”
Faith in God
The betrayal of a trusted priest still weighs heavily on D’Andrea, even at age 69. He has been helped in coming to terms with the abuse by Diocese of Bridgeport Bishop Frank Caggiano, who asked D’Andrea to be a part of his Hope and Healing Committee.
“The faith didn’t do it to me, that individual did it to me,” D’Andrea said. “That’s who I lost my trust in. And a lot of people questioned their faith in priests, too. The majority of them are very good and are willing to help you, like in every profession. But there was a bad apple and it was a painful process.
“I want people to know that in the pain and suffering, in the very darkest days, and there were dark days after radiation and chemo for the cancer, that you can get through this with faith,” he said.
In some of those darkest, as he lost 60 pounds and was too weak to get out of bed, D’Andrea said he found himself asking God why he didn’t take him, because he didn’t think he could handle it anymore.
Those prayers do not always get answers, he said, but this time it was his late mother who came to him.
“She said to me, ‘You’ve got a lot to do,’” D’Andrea said.
The book took him nearly six months to write and was his main focus during the first months of the COVID-19 pandemic. The slim paperback, which is replete with Bible passages of personal significance to D’Andrea, is meant to be a quick read that can hopefully inspire people during their own challenges, he said.
Known around town
D’Andrea spent 13 years as superintendent at the municipal Griffith E. Harris golf course, and has been involved for decades in civic organizations in Greenwich. He has helped put together events for veterans, worked to give local kids scholarships through the Chickahominy Reunion Association and has been deeply involved with the Catholic Church.
D’Andrea has also been an active member of the town Republican Party and counts former state Sen. L. Scott Frantz as one of his closest friends. D’Andrea said the first words out of his mouth every time they meet are, “What do you need?” First Selectman Fred Camillo is D’Andrea’s cousin and godson.
They are part of a support system that also helped him through. D’Andrea is also quick to praise Dr. James Brunetti, who specializes in internal medicine at Greenwich Hospital, and is, to D’Andrea, “probably the most amazing doctor the world has ever seen.” Then there was longtime friend Carmen Moretti, who D’Andrea said took him to every doctor’s visit.
“At every point imaginable, he was there for me,” D’Andrea said.
Support has also come from family: daughter, Lynn Fein; son, Dave Jr.; and Lynn’s two children, Charlotte and James.
His hardest health battle was with cancer, which required three surgeries in two months and an exhausting recovery process. D’Andrea has been cancer free for almost six years, but he’s reminded of the illness often. He says some days still bring him immense pain from his recovery, and the disease has left him vulnerable to the threat of COVID-19.
The pandemic has left D’Andrea unable to do the things he took for granted — seeing friends and going to church.
At the advice of his doctor, D’Andrea is homebound due to the coronavirus. He can’t allow visitors inside his home, and when people stop by, including his grandchildren, he has to see them outside from a distance. But while the time in isolation has been difficult, the time alone inspired him to get to work on the book and enabled him to confront the difficult parts of his past.
“It was challenging because it brought up a lot of memories but I had to deal with them to get them in the book so others could appreciate it,” D’Andrea said.