The News-Times (Sunday)

The $2.3 trillion question: Are there really UFOs?

- COLIN MCENROE Colin McEnroe’s column appears every Sunday, his newsletter comes out every Thursday and you can hear his radio show every weekday on WNPR 90.5. Email him at colin@ctpublic.org. Sign up for his newsletter at http://bit.ly/colinmcenr­oe.

My suspicions about you have been confirmed, Richard Blumenthal.

Speaking to the Retired Men’s Associatio­n of Greenwich, a group that includes Lex Luthor, Roy Cohn, Loki and Hans Gruber, the senator from Connecticu­t said: “I have heard nothing that would change my views on UFOs. I can’t say whether it would change yours . ... I haven’t heard of anything reliable or credible that would lead me to think UFOs are a threat to our country or our world right now.”

Notice how carefully worded that was?

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“I have heard nothing that would change my views on UFOs.” That would not exclude the possibilit­y that he knows they exist, that he has been abducted and probed by them, that when he did Ancestry.com he turned out to have 2.3 percent Silurian Reptoid DNA. All he said was that his views had not changed.

“I can’t say whether it would change yours.” This is where he foot-faults. There’s apparently an “it.” And “it” could conceivabl­y “change the views” of someone who was not already aware that the British Royal Family are shape-shifting reptilian humanoids from the Alpha Draconis star system, which is why they say such weird, detachedso­unding things about Meghan Markle, who is definitely onto them. (Prince Andrew claims that, for part of his life, he could not sweat. Space lizards also do not sweat.)

I wish Greenwich Time reporter Ken Borsuk had followed up on this. I’d like to think I would have, but that may just be what Lemurians call “l’esprit de l’escalier” (literally, “things you Earth creatures dwell on after we have erased 99 percent of your memories.”)

And finally: “I haven’t heard of anything reliable or credible that would lead me to think UFOs are a threat to our country or our world right now.”

Why did he say those last two words? “Not right now” implies later, doesn’t it?

Reading between the lines, Blumenthal essentiall­y said, “Based on what I already know, nothing these space aliens do would surprise me, including ‘it,’ but if you knew about ‘it’ you’d maybe be screaming in terror. Anyway, you’ve got three to six months to get your affairs in order.”

I would ask Borsuk about this, but he has disappeare­d. No one has seen him for several minutes. I would use exclamatio­n points, but I am not allowed to. Why do you think that is?

Why was a Retired Greenwich Man (I believe it was Pennywise the Clown) asking Blumenthal this question? Because tucked into last year’s

“I haven’t heard of anything reliable or credible that would lead me to think UFOs are a threat to our country or our world right now.”

U.S. Sen. Richard Blumenthal

5,500-page $2.3 trillion appropriat­ions bill is a requiremen­t that the government produce a report divulging everything it knows about “anomalous aerial vehicles.”

We had to pay $2.3 trillion to pry loose the truth.

When that report comes out, according to what former Director of National Intelligen­ce John Ratcliffe told highly reputable Fox journalist Maria Bartiromo, it will have big news about even more sightings than we’re currently aware of.

And though Ratcliffe was voted by his high school classmates as “Least Likely to Ever Hold a Job Title Containing the Word ‘Intelligen­ce’,” I think we have to take him seriously because he supports my theory.

Anyway, it’s not just a theory. Last April, the U.S. Navy confirmed three UFO incidents and released video of them shot by jet fighter planes.

That should have been really big news, but as Nate Bargatze, who has a new Netflix comedy special but is probably also a principal research scientist with Northrup Grumman, says: 2020 was so crowded with news that “they said there were UFOs and nobody cared.”

As Bargatze notes, it wasn’t even a lead item. More like, “And that’s the news for tonight. Also, alien spacecraft are here. We’ll see you tomorrow.”

Bargatze says he told his wife that UFOs are officially real “and she just went about her day.”

Now, I know some of you are going to try to pick apart my ideas, and I just want to say that, as an American, I am entitled to crackpot beliefs just like everybody else.

I keep tabs on the anti-vaccine movement here in Connecticu­t, and, believe me, I am making way more sense in this column than they do. On Tuesday, one of them posted on the CT Freedom Alliance Facebook page an article headlined “Government of Norway indicted for crimes against humanity.”

Did you miss that story? The one where the whole government of Norway was indicted for its COVID policies? And there’s a “2nd Nuremberg tribunal,” because this is so much like the Third Reich?

So don’t tell me I can’t ask perfectly valid, rational questions about space aliens. In fact, let me make one final observatio­n. I’m not pointing any fingers. I’ll leave that to E.T.

But I have seen Dick Blumenthal go jogging. More than once. Including in Los Angeles in the summer. I have never seen him sweat.

Do the math.

 ?? Screenshot ?? U.S. Sen. Richard Blumenthal speaks to the Retired Men’s Associatio­n of Greenwich over Zoom on Wednesday.
Screenshot U.S. Sen. Richard Blumenthal speaks to the Retired Men’s Associatio­n of Greenwich over Zoom on Wednesday.
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