In grandmothers we trust

Did you see the story about the Michigan grandmother who returned a bag with $15,000 in wedding gifts that she found in a parking lot … instead of hitchhiking to Vegas, paying her rent, buying the car she needed, or squandering it at the local cannabis kiosk. The community was so overwhelmed by her honesty they bought her a new Jeep so she wouldn’t have to walk six miles back and forth to work anymore.

Those stories are inspiring for about 10 minutes, and then it’s back to reading about the lawyer who bilked another grandma out of $15,000, or the cable TV company that doubled its rates and forced grandpa to take out a second mortgage so he could watch the Yankees, or the gang that struck it rich stealing catalytic converters and as a good-will gesture used some of their hardearned money to build a playground for the neighborhood kids.

I’m always amazed the way headline writers describe do-gooders and crime victims as grandmas or grandpas. I guess it’s catchier to say, “Teens beat grandpa and take his wallet” than to say “Teens beat old man and take his wallet.”

Grandmas and grandpas are like everybody else, except they collect Social Security, (which everyone wants to take away) and they’re a bit wiser than the rest of the population.

There are good grandpas and there are bad grandpas (Didn’t you ever see the movie “Dirty Grandpa” with Robert DeNiro in one of his highly acclaimed non-violent roles?) I don’t think I’ve ever met a bad grandma although I’ve met a lot of cranky grandmas.

To prove how good grandmas are, all you have to do is google “Grandma returns wallet,” and a lot of stories pop up … except for that one with the headline, “Grandma steals wallet from school teacher.”

It makes me wonder why instead of doing normal grandma activities, they’re prowling the streets, looking for lost wallets so they can get a reward and their names in the newspaper.

Shouldn’t they be baking brownies or knitting scarves for Christmas gifts (to their family’s dismay) or working part-time at McDonald’s to put their grandkids through Yale?

I need to ask a nagging moral question: Would Grandpa be as honest and return the wallet or bag of cash? Or is Grandpa so hardened by life, taxes and inflation that he’d keep the money to pay his electric bill? I like to think that even if it was a moral struggle, he’d make the right decision.

Most grandparents still have a moral compass because they remember what it was like when you were expected to be honest and not expected to be dishonest. Back in an age before the country’s moral compass broke.

To quote Michigan grandmother Dianne Gordon: “I was taught if it doesn’t belong to you, you don’t keep it.”

Do Gen Xers, Millennials, Zoomers and the Scooby-Doo generation get it?

I like to think they do, but I could be wrong. I like to think Grandma and Grandpa raised Ma and Pa to do the right thing and they’re passing those values on to their kids, because if youngsters don’t learn about them at an early age, they never will.

Of course, if you were raised by parents who were crooks, chances are you’ll be a crook too. It’s your family legacy.

They say honesty is its own reward, although I have my doubts, especially in a country where dishonesty is a commonly accepted practice, from the highest levels of government and Corporate America, right down the food chain to us taxpaying peons.

We need a power of example when it comes to honesty, and we need more than just Grandma. Kids who don’t see moral behavior in their homes won’t pick it up on their own. And even if they’re taught the difference between right and wrong, that doesn’t mean they’ll grow up to be Honest Abe or George Washington.

So God bless grandmas everywhere who are doing the right thing. Society expects grandmas to be honest, but unfortunately, society doesn’t have the same expectation for our political leaders and corporate leaders and celebrities.

One last thought: If you happen to be one of those lying, thieving, conniving, shoplifting, embezzling, smash-and-grabbing grandparents, don’t lose hope.

After all, the Gospels tell us that even the good thief got into heaven, so you can too. At least in theory. You just have to change your evil ways, as Santana said.

Your parents probably never taught you the difference between right and wrong because they didn’t have a moral compass.

But every so often, I stumble upon a power of example. One person I know had a father who was a longshoreman in New York City. Even though he wasn’t a churchgoer, the man proudly proclaimed that if anything fell off a freighter, it never found its way into his home. And his children shared those values.

As Grandma Dianne said, “I was just doing what I was taught to do.”