Friend’s silence leaves reader in limbo
Dear Abby: A friend of mine from college (I graduated four years ago) is incredibly kind but terrible at keeping in touch. She has never been good at responding to texts, but now that we no longer live in the same area, we don’t communicate.
When she invited me to her wedding, I was surprised because when she got engaged, I reached out to congratulate her and asked for the story of the proposal, and she never responded. Her wedding reception was postponed because of COVID-19, but I watched the Zoom ceremony.
I knew it was hard on her, so I have reached out every month or so for the past four months to tell her I’m thinking of her, but she never replies. I mailed her a card for her wedding, which she also did not acknowledge. She sees my Instagram posts, and I’m connected with her sister and brother-in-law on social media, so I know no harm has come to her, and her cellphone is working.
I miss my friend, but I’m conflicted about whether I should RSVP “yes” to the postponed reception. Normally, I would assume silence means someone doesn’t want to continue a friendship, but she invited me and a plusone. Should I accept or reach out to a mutual friend to see what’s going on?
Holding Onto Friendship
Dear Holding: If you would like to attend her reception — when and if it is held — respond affirmatively to the invitation. However, if you do, do not expect to be acknowledged for your effort because those niceties are not in her makeup.
Dear Abby: I have a child with autism. He’s my world, and I love him deeply. Because he has special needs, I can’t afford a babysitter, so my parents watch him all the time or I cancel whatever I need to do that day.
Because my parents are my only source of babysitting, they think they don’t have to listen to me. If I tell them the time I give him his medication, so don’t change it, they think he needs it earlier, and they know better than I do. I’m constantly secondguessed.
As his mother, shouldn’t I be able to make that decision?
My Child in Illinois
Dear My Child: Yes, you should be able to make decisions regarding your son and expect that they will be respected.
I suggest you contact the Autism Society (autism -society.org).