‘Fun’ name-calling bothers boyfriend
Dear Abby: My girlfriend and I call each other horrible, disparaging names as a form of “love.” Recently, I asked her to stop calling me names like that because it was fun at first, but now not so much. For me, it was just too negative.
I love her, and I want to show it by my actions. I want us to be a positive couple. I now call her “Bebe.” Well, she got mad and accused me of not letting her be herself. Am I wrong for asking her not to call me ugly, gender-based names? Is that too much to ask?
No Dumb-A** in California
Dear No D-A: No, it is not too much to ask. People who love each other are sensitive to the other person’s feelings and don’t do what your girlfriend is doing. If she persists, it may be time to reevaluate this relationship.
Dear Abby: My husband of 34 years has really bad table manners. He smacks when he chews, makes gulping noises when he drinks liquids and stuffs huge amounts of food in his mouth. He once swallowed a whole hardboiled egg all at once and almost choked. It’s gross.
I love him, but his lack of manners is embarrassing, especially when we are invited out or are over at a friend’s house. What can I do?
Rolling My Eyes in Tennessee
Dear Rolling: Hand him a mirror or record a video of him eating so he can see for himself how unappealing he looks when he does this. If that doesn’t persuade him to slow down and take smaller bites, consider putting less food on his plate before serving it.
Dear Abby: After recently having gone through a divorce, my brother has now decided to start a family. He claims he loves her, but I’m afraid she’s taking advantage of him. They are both in their mid-30s and blinded by lust. They plan on marrying “maybe a year from now.”
I don’t know what to think. On the one hand, I’m happy he has moved on. On the other hand, I’m afraid for him, knowing he’s vulnerable. How do I cope?
Bewildered Sis in Vermont
Dear Sis: Unless he’s putting the cart before the horse by starting a family before the wedding, he seems to be handling things quite well and not rushing into a commitment he can’t get out of. Calm yourself. Let this play out and get to know his girlfriend. If you do, you may find you like her.