When anti-Asian racism hits home
The fall semester in 2018 was my first semester at Quinnipiac. Earlier that semester, I met with student government leaders to introduce myself and the People’s United Center for Innovation and Entrepreneurship. One of the student leaders was a Chinese national international business major who was active on campus and offered to volunteer to help the new center. I welcomed her help. She helped by marketing our activities on campus and arranging for me to meet with other student groups on campus.
One day near the end of the semester I offered my friend, whose name I will not use, a ride to her dorm at Hilltop. On the way up the hill, I asked what she was doing for the holiday break. She informed me she would staying in her dorm for the month.
After saying goodbye, I went home and informed my wife that a Chinese national was staying in a near-empty dorm during the holiday, with no car and little access to food. We were about to have our extended family over for Christmas. Our holiday celebration included my son, my daughter-in-law (who was born in Iran), my grandson, my daughter, and two of my daughter’s graduate school classmates. One of my daughter’s classmates was a Korean national and the other was a Taiwanese national; neither of my daughter’s classmates had anywhere to go during the break. This was the second year of this international gathering where we broke bread together and played music. I told my wife I would like to invite my new friend to dinner. Christmas came and my student friend took Metro-North to Bridgeport. I picked her up and once again we had an enjoyable Christmas dinner with plenty of stories about our lives. When it was time for my friend to go, I knew from the look in her eyes that she did not want to go. So, we invited her to stay over. She stayed for six weeks.
We had a marvelous time. We took her to New York City to the Metropolitan Museum of Art. When we visited the Chinese section in the museum, she gave us insights into the art and the history of China. We were extremely impressed with the detail of her knowledge of Chinese art and history. At first, I could not believe what she was telling us was accurate. But after hearing her description, and then reading the description near the art, it turned out she was 100 percent correct.
We took her to our favorite restaurants. One of those restaurants was our favorite Chinese restaurant in Westport, one my wife and I had been to many times. The owner came by to take our order, and asked our Chinese student in Cantonese if she spoke the language. They struck up a conversation that neither my wife nor I could understand. When the owner left with our order, our student told us that the restaurateur wanted to know what her relationship was to this black couple. Our Chinese friend told her that my wife and I were her parents. This is what led to the extended conversation between our student and the restaurant owner. This demanded an explanation.
From that day on, our Chinese student referred to us as “Mom and Dad.” We lovingly accepted our new child and our new roles.
I tell this story to say that my Chinese daughter is afraid to walk the streets of Connecticut for fear that she will be randomly attacked. As her adopted father, I am also afraid for her safety and all our Asian brothers and sisters. This fear is not without merit. My daughter has been verbally assaulted during this pandemic on numerous occasions by complete strangers. For those who do not think this is real — it is real.
What can we do about it? In one of my columns last year, I said that America’s virus is racism. While not unique to America — unfortunately, there is racism in far too many places — racism is a sickness. Racism must be fought — it cannot be allowed to fester untreated. Children of all races must be taught to look beyond color and see the humanity in all of us. Some adults are beyond repair, but racists must feel that their behavior, their attitudes and their comments are not acceptable and racist actions will be punished by the full extent of the law.
People of goodwill must stand in solidarity with our Asian brothers and sisters and say these attacks will not be tolerated. Martin Luther King famously stated that: “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.”
Speak up if you see Asians being verbally abused or threatened. And more importantly, if we are to fight racism, everyone must try to get to really know people who are racially and ethnically different from ourselves. When we do this, we will recognize our common humanity.