Friend expands invite without notice
Dear Abby: I have a friend, “Tara,” I have known for a long time. Early in our friendship when we made plans, she would bring her boyfriend along (without asking or telling me she was). When she began dating her nowhusband, it continued.
She’s married now, and a mother, and now every time we hang out, she brings along her rambunctious 6-year-old.
The child is not wellbehaved, so taking him out in public isn’t always pleasant or easy. I am a planner. I dislike getting railroaded with babysitting when I’m anticipating a fun girls’ day out.
I hate to lose a longtime friend, but I am now hesitant to make plans with her. What would you do in this situation?
Simmering in South Carolina
Dear Simmering: I would tell my friend that once in a while I don’t mind an occasional change of plans, but when I have “a fun girls’ day out” planned with her, I don’t appreciate what she has been doing. Your feelings are valid.
Dear Abby: I have been invited to a wedding. I’m close with the bride and want to attend. However, more than 400 people have been invited, and I’m not comfortable attending an event this large where social distancing will be impossible. While I can try to keep my distance and, of course, wear a mask, the seating cannot be arranged so guests can socially distance.
I’m torn between protecting the health of others and myself, and preserving my friendship because she’s a bride in love and I’m worried about hurting her feelings. In our state, gatherings of 100 people are allowed if they are outside and people wear masks and socially distance. She thinks the coronavirus is a hoax and God will have it go away completely by her wedding. Please help.
Uneasy in Oregon
Dear Uneasy: Tell your friend that you are sorry you will miss her wedding, but that you are not comfortable traveling at this time or being in large groups while the COVID-19 virus is still an issue.
The COVID virus is not a “hoax,” and none of us has such a close relationship with the Almighty that He (or She) will make it disappear so a bride can have a large wedding. The bride-to-be is entitled to her opinion, and you are equally entitled to yours, so send your regrets and the reason for them, and do not allow yourself to be sucked into a debate about it.