Relative’s support goes over the top

Dear Abby: I am blessed to have a wonderfully supportive family, which includes my and my husband’s siblings. I was recently scheduled for major abdominal surgery. For the weeks leading up to it, I quietly went about preparing the house and putting systems in place so I could be absent, but otherwise tried not to dwell on the upcoming unpleasantness.

Most of my support people checked in occasionally to see how I was doing or if I needed anything. One sister-in-law, however, has been over-the-top. She sends cards, texts, flowers and calls. I appreciate her support, but it’s too much. The cards always say the same thing — “heal gently” and “these are the good old days of medicine.” In the weeks leading up to surgery and afterward, I have received nearly a dozen cards, plus her texts, etc.

Is there a nice way to let her know it is too much? Please let me know if there’s a polite way to make it STOP!

Progressing In California

Dear Progressing: A “nice” way to phrase it might be to say, “Honey, I am grateful for all the support you’ve been giving me, but the surgery is behind me now, and I am slowly regaining my strength. Please don’t send me any more get-well cards — the dozen you have sent have already worked their magic.”

Dear Abby: I am writing because I’m concerned about my husband’s drinking. We have been married 35 years and we love each other very much. We are both retired. He drinks at least a six-pack a day. Although he doesn’t appear to be intoxicated, I know this has to mean he is an alcoholic. Because he doesn’t drink and drive, he thinks this is fine. Besides being unhealthy and giving him a huge beer gut, it’s expensive. Your thoughts, please.

Concerned Wife in Georgia

Dear Wife: Schedule your and your husband’s “annual medical checkups,” regardless of how long they may have been delayed. Before you go in, the doctor should be informed that your hubby imbibes a six-pack per day.

You could benefit from attending some Al-Anon meetings. Al-Anon is an offshoot of Alcoholics Anonymous that helps the families and friends of individuals who have an alcohol problem. I am sure if you do, you will not only find it enlightening, but also beneficial for the practical advice and emotional support it offers. Go to al-anon.org/info for more information.