‘So much anger on both sides’

We knew it was coming but still, it was a gut punch. Roe v Wade overturned. Every time I saw the headline, my stomach hurt.

As a child I was sexually abused so that I learned, early on, that we don’t always have rights to our bodies.

That’s why I’ve fought so hard — riding a bus six hours to Washington, D.C., and six hours back to affirm Roe’s importance to our country.

And now we’re back in the dark ages. I was a young teenager in the days of illegal abortions when you heard the horror stories about women so desperate they used coat hangers. Or went to back alleys to meet strangers. Now many women will die again.

There’s just so much anger on both sides. My son, who is 21, has bought what some of the Fox News pundits peddle. “You’re killing life” he says. I admit, when I was finally pregnant with him, I felt a little differently about it.

And that’s the problem. If we truly believe what the more radical right-to-lifers say, how can we get to a place where people know it only as the terrible option it often is?

We’re talking past each other. I don’t feel that those who believe abortion is killing life are totally wrong, because it is life, and abortion does end it. But we’re not talking about ripping babies from wombs, as some would have it. Or to fit into their prom dresses, like others want you to believe. It’s a wrenching, heartbreaking decision. What if having another child would make you homeless? Or the child itself is so misformed it will die shortly after birth?

And aren’t we leaving something out? Men are part of this, too.

Why should a man tell me what to do with my body? No one is telling him what to do with his. And let’s get down to it. Sex. A friend says that’s what this all about.

We’re both part of it. But why should only women be affected? Why not make men only be able to drive on Mondays, or breathe, on Thursdays? It’s pretty much the same thing.

I realize the woman has the bigger responsibility because she’s the one who can get pregnant. But we don’t do it on our own. Why shouldn’t the other responsible party share in this, too? Maybe, instead of just judging.