Parent misses teen’s ex, his parents
Dear Abby: A couple of weeks ago, my 17-year-old daughter broke up with “Matt,” her boyfriend of a year and seven months. My husband and I are sad because Matt had become a part of our family. We included him in vacations and holidays with us. We also became friends with his parents.
I have not communicated with them since the breakup, and I feel horrible. I’m not sure what’s proper etiquette. Should I reach out to Matt’s mom or just leave it alone? I don’t have hard feelings toward them, but then again, my daughter broke up with Matt and not vice versa. Let me know what you think.
Broken Up Over Breakup
Dear Broken Up: I see no harm in waiting a few more weeks until things cool and then reaching out to Matt’s mother. Tell her you are sorry about the breakup and hope it doesn’t spell the end of your relationship with her, which you have very much enjoyed. Her response will tell you if she feels the same.
Dear Abby: We are a couple, married for 46 years. Of course, one of us will be passing on in the future. If my husband goes first, I’m unsure about how to handle any services for him. He has narcissistic personality disorder and I have grown to despise him.
I need to be respectful of his children and friends.
I want to have a proper remembrance for them that won’t involve too much of my presence. He will be cremated per his request. Can you suggest how I handle this?
Careful in California
Dear Careful: Discuss this with the person who will officiate at the service. Be as active a participant as you would like. Leaving the eulogizing to the people who loved him is your privilege. Dear Abby: My daughter is 38 and still can’t forgive me for being an alcoholic when she was young. Will I never be forgiven? I have had my drinking under control for six years now. What else can I do? I don’t want to leave this world and not be good with her. It’s killing me.
Sober Mom in Kentucky
Dear Mom: You didn’t mention what changes you experienced when your daughter was young. Whether you were abusive or absent, the truth is she “lost” her mother during that period. You may need your baby girl back, but that baby is long gone. If you are not in AA, you should definitely attend some meetings to see how other parents cope with their loss.