Beau’s daughter resists connecting
Dear Abby: I’m divorced and have been dating my guy friend for five years. We recognized after we started dating that we love each other, and we planned to move in together after a year of dating. I was so excited when we started making plans that I reached out to my guy’s ex-wife and daughter as a friendly gesture.
His daughter was getting married later in the year, so I tried to reassure her that I understood how stressful a big wedding is, and I wouldn’t be offended if I wasn’t invited. I wasn’t invited. Following the wedding, the first time I met his ex-wife and children was excruciating. His daughter was very unpleasant to me.
Now, years later, the situation has not improved. If I try to be Facebook friends, his daughter accepts my offer, but limits what I can see. This is ridiculous. After five years, I would like to just gently close that door. Is that being mean or realistic?
Tried, and Tried Again
Dear Tried:
This situation won’t improve if you “gently close the door.” You don’t need to track his adult daughter’s activities on Facebook. It couldn’t hurt to step back and stick with the status quo, and that’s what I recommend.
Dear Abby: My husband and I have been together 30 years and married for 25. We have four wonderful adult children and four beautiful grandchildren. We started our family very young and are now entering our 50s. I’m ready to get out and travel the world, but my husband wants to move closer to one of our children to help with the kids. We have had many loud conversations regarding my unwillingness to raise children all over again.
Our son and his wife can afford quality child care, and I don’t see the need for us to uproot our lives and move hours away just to be on-call babysitters. I love the town we live in, and I’m starting to resent his suggestions that relocation is what “most grandmothers would love to do.” Advice?
Staying Put in Florida
Dear Staying:
Please do not allow your husband to wear you down. You deserve to travel if you have the means to do it. He could take that time to travel to wherever your son and his family live and give them a break in your absence.