Friend aims to keep using benefits

Dear Abby: I lost my husband of 20 years a little over two years ago. Shortly after, I met a much younger man. He was immediately interested in me. He’s sweet, kind and very handsome. It took me months to realize that I’m also interested in him.

We began spending time together, including bedroom fun. He has told me at least twice he loves me, and I told him the same. His demeanor and expressions match his words, and we agreed for the time being to be friends with benefits.

Three months ago, he met someone much closer to his age. But even in front of her he holds me close and tells me he loves me. She has now slapped a ring on his finger and is pushing him for marriage. He keeps saying he’s not ready. We feel that until the day he says “I do,” it’s OK for us to continue our bedroom fun. Am I doing the right thing?

Loving the Fun in Washington

Dear Loving:

No one “slaps a ring” on another person’s finger unless that person holds still for it. You are NOT doing the right thing by continuing to sleep with this man. In fact, you may be heading for a painful fall.

Dear Abby: Our family has a thrilling story in its history about our grandfather and his brothers rescuing the family’s player piano from their burning house. The house burned to the ground, and they lost nearly everything but the piano. which is now shuffled among family members’ homes.

It’s not particularly attractive, and it’s certainly not playable. There are relatives who are desperate to keep it in the family, but who don’t have the space to store it or the money to refurbish it.

I’m not sentimental. If it were dumped on me, I’d throw it out.

My question is, how do you get people to let go of material possessions that have become a huge burden?

Unfinished Song in New Jersey

Dear Unfinished:

If someone wants to give it a home, that is where it should go. I’m having trouble understanding why the fate of that instrument is your problem. Tell your relatives that you want nothing to do with it and let it go.