Boyfriend’s true colors emerge after he moves in

DEAR ABBY » I was married for 16 years and am finalizing the divorce. I decided to start dating again and found a really nice guy with a wonderful personality. I’m attracted to him, although I never thought I would love again. He’s my age and has a kid. We talked for six months - after which he moved in. We have been living together for more than a year now.

Things were perfect until I found out he has been talking sexually to other women online and met two women during our relationship. He insists they are just friends and nothing more. Now he’s saying I’m not his girlfriend and never have been.

What am I then? I asked one of his friends, and they told me he is sexual with all women. “He is just a playful guy.” When I told him I knew he had kissed one of them, he said it was because he just wanted to know if anything was there. I have never done that to anyone. He lied about meeting the girls and about being on a dating site, and he’s still sexting. I fell in love with him, but he doesn’t say it back to me. Should we separate and just be friends or try to work on the relationship? He told me that his whole life women ghost him or go back to their exes. He has been hurt by a lot of them. I need advice.

— Let down in Arkansas

DEAR LET DOWN » Your roommate is not a “nice guy.” He’s a player who hasn’t been honest with you. Be glad his friend clued you in to what has really been going on while he has been living with you. Because you know he’s a player, make an appointment with your doctor to be tested for STDs. Then tell him the games are over and you want him out of your place immediately. You are too emotional right now to remain friends with him, and once you get your head on straight and recognize him for who he really is, you will no longer WANT to be.