Whining is a childish approach to getting one’s way

“The Pianist” is a movie based on the true story of a young musician in Warsaw, Poland, when the Nazis invaded in 1939. His name was Wladyslaw Szpilman.

He was part of an upper middle-class Jewish family. The family lost their home, possessions, livelihood and eventually their lives — except for Wladyslaw.

He escaped and lived six years underground, struggling to survive — hiding, isolated and alone, frightened, freezing, ill, desperate, starving and scavenging for food.

I am always haunted by these kinds of stories and awed at the capacity of people to survive such atrocities. It leaves me embarrassed at how those of us living in America whine and complain about a bad hair day, a skin blemish or a long line at the grocery store, or we rant and rave when someone cuts in front of us in traffic.

Those annoyances would have seemed a luxury to that young Polish musician.

Whine means to complain. Complain means to express grief, pain or discontent. Both have their place.

When dogs whine, they are telling us something is wrong. The same is often true for small children. Four-year-olds especially seem to have the art of whining honed to perfection. Children of all ages whine for many reasons: to wear you down, to make you feel guilty, for reassurance or sometimes merely out of habit. I suspect adults do it for the same reasons.

When adults whine, it is typically a symptom of something deeper — a way to cover up what is really going on.

If you are an adult, and a whiner and a complainer, your need may be legitimate, but whining is childish behavior. It is an insulting way to treat others, demeaning to yourself, and even if you finally get your way, no one is happy.

Why not take the effort and energy you put into complaining and redirect it? Devote yourself to improving the conditions and making some changes where you work and live. Or leave.

COMMUNITY