A time to heal
Some companies’ bereavement policies fall way short, observers say.
Aft er the unexpected death of her brother-inlaw, Claudia Bartlett of Sapulpa was dumbfounded when her sister’s boss — while filing past the casket at the close of the funeral service — stopped to shake her sister’s hand, offer condolences and then ask her when she’d be returning to work.
“Her husband hadn’t even been dead for a week!” Bartlett said.
Her sister — who held a senior logistics position in the corporate offices of a major retailer — left that job as fast as she could after the insensitive treatment, she said.
Bartlett and some workplace observers are applauding Facebook’s recent announcement that it’s doubling employee paid leave for bereavement to 20 days for an immediate family member and up to 10 days for extended family. The standard paid leave provided by many employers — three days — is “ridiculous,” said Linda Sharkey, North Carolina-based coauthor of the recentlypublished “The FutureProof Workplace,” and former senior human resources executive with Hewlett-Packard and GE. “Oftentimes, you’ve barely figured out what happened,” Sharkey said, “and may have needed time beforehand if your family member was suffering an illness or afterward to make funeral or other preparations.” Midwest City natives Carol VanStavern and Corey Trautvetter wholeheartedly agree.
“I had five days when my mom passed and that was not enough,” VanStavern said. Trautvetter’s sister and brother-in-law suddenly lost their adult son, who had custody of his two little girls.
“They had to plan his funeral, settle his estate, take care of his belongings, handle custody issues, redo their house so that their two little granddaughters could move in with them, spend time with their traumatized granddaughters and get them into counseling, all the while dealing with their own unbelievable tragedy of burying their son,” Trautvetter said. “Fortunately, they both worked for government agencies that allowed them time off through bereavement leave and personal time,” he said.
While government employers offer more generous leave (Oklahoma City Public Schools provides five days), three days’ off is about average for private employers, Oklahoma City human resources expert Gayla Sherry said. Based on a survey she conducted a year ago, eight of 13 companies provided three days’ paid bereavement. Two other respective companies offered four and five days’ leave, but one company offered only one day — and two offered no bereavement leave; only the use of accrued vacation and/or personal time.
“Bereavement leave policies are all over the board,” Sherry said. “Most of the clients I work with have something in place, but they vary.”
Many policies, she said, are tied to closer relatives, such as parents, grandparents, grandchildren and children. Meanwhile, some include relationships by marriage, and some permit more paid leave if employees’ deceased relatives lived out of town and/or out of state, she said. Sherry said.
Sharkey, of “FutureProof Workplace,” said bereavement policies, like many workplace rules, were put in place during the Industrial Era and, in today’s largely knowledge-based telecommuting labor force, the relationship between employers and employees is dramatically changing,” she said.
“If your employee is taking care of business and a good performer, you need to work with them; not against them, and give them the same respect you’d expect,” Sharkey said.
Rather than legislate rules, employers should negotiate, she said — allowing grieving employees to take, say, 10 days’ paid leave and long weekends after that, and/or share bereavement leave. Kenny Rhodes, a former Oklahoman who lives in Hendersonville, North Carolina, agrees.
“When my dad passed away, I was told to take 10 working days by the president of the company,” Rhodes said. “He came to my home to see if we needed anything ... a good man to work for.”
Susan Bohl, executive director of Okie811, said small employers and nonprofits won’t be able to follow suit. Okie811 provides three paid days for immediate family and one paid day for extended family. Catherine Brown, founder and principal of Initial Call sales prospecting company, said she never was more glad to be self-employed than when her mother died.
“It cost me a lot to have other people do my work and pay them to take my place with a few things, but I had the freedom to make that choice,” Brown said.
Qualifying employees of larger companies may take up to 12 weeks’ unpaid job- and benefit-protected leave for bereavement and other matters under the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA), but only if they meet certain qualifications and provide sufficient information and reasonable notice of the need for and the expected duration of leave. Bereavement leave isn’t covered automatically by the FMLA. But a grieving employee naturally may be depressed and depression meets the definition of an FMLA-covered serious health condition.
Similarly, the employee may need leave to care for a spouse, son, daughter or parent who is suffering physically or mentally as a result of the death of a loved one. Wrapping up the affairs of the deceased isn’t covered for purposes of job-protected leave. To be eligible for leave under the FMLA, employees must have worked for their employer at least 12 months, at least 1,250 hours over the past 12 months, and work at a location where the company employs 50 or more employees within 75 miles.